I want my baby to come home

We were there for his 2 bottle feeds today.
Dr Simmank said only 2 again today, I really hope she increases it tomorrow.  I want to take him home.

This morning, it went well.  He was sucking a lot better than yesterday.  He had 45mls by bottle.  Before he had it he was actually looking for something to suck.  When we got there, he was sucking his finger, the same one Elaine used to suck!  LMAO!  We’d better find a dummy he likes!

When we left the hospital this morning, we went to Baby City to find a dummy.  Ended up getting a Vital Baby one and a Snookums Honey dummy as they’re the closest to the one the sister is giving him.  She laughed at me this afternoon when I arrived armed with more dummies.
Lance told her that he’d had to stop me buying the other 6 I had in my hand.

This afternoon, I gave him his bottle (first time!!).  He drank the whole thing!!  He sucked so well, and it really didn’t take long.  I think he’s got the hang of it.

The only concern the paed has are with his aspirants.  Before every feed, they syringe the leftover milk out of his tummy through the feeding tube, and check how much it is and what the consistency is.  She told me again today that they use that to determine whether he has any infections or whether there’s something else wrong.  He’s always aspirated quite a bit – and today was no different.  She’s not going to do what they normally do for it – stop feeding and put a drip in, but instead we changed the formula.  She thinks that the proteins in the NAN HA are not agreeing with him, so he’s now on NAN.  I really hope it works.

I don’t think he’ll be home this weekend anymore.
If we’re lucky he’s;ll be home on Monday, at the rate that she’s pushing his feeds.  I just want him home.  I looked at my siggy on BN today – he’s 1 week and 5 days old.  I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot – I can’t be at the hospital all the time. I want him to come home now.

I realised again today how sick he was.  Basetsana (the baby who was born weighing 1kg and extremely prem) was only on oxygen for 8 days, and Connor was on it for 10.  The other babies that were born around the same time as him, are all very close to going home or have already gone home.

I fell asleep last night without Xanor.  First time!!  Yay!!
Don’t think I’ll be taking them again.  I feel great.  First time in 2 weeks without any drugs!

This afternoon Connor got taken off the big monitors.  So now he’s just attached to a mobile respiratory monitor.  This means he can be moved to a crib (off the flat bed).

The sister tried everything today to get him to suck his dummy.  He’s refusing the Nuk dummy now.  He also didn’t like the Pigeon one too much (but he was sucking that one a bit better).  His favourite so far is a cheapie preemie dummy that apparently costs R5!  Go figure.  
Not sure I’m happy with that as it’s going to be a problem to get him to suck a orthodontic dummy later, but if this teaches him to suck a bottle and let me take him home, then how can I really complain.
Will get Lance to take me to Baby City tomorrow to get a honey dummy, and another make to try. Will look at them and see which ones look similar to the cheapie the nurse is using. 

He had his second bottle this afternoon too.  The nurse fed him this one too.  She asked me if I had a issue with that, which I didn’t.  I’ll have plenty of time to fight with his bottle feeding. LOL!!  
He again drank 30mls of the bottle, but this time she was much happier with how he sucked.  He was actually sucking to get the milk out, and not just biting the teat and letting the milk run down in throat.  

They are going to try and give him another one tonight.  Hopefully it goes well.  Will read his chart in the morning to see how he did.

When Lance dropped Bradley at school morning, he asked Bradley whether he’d told Teacher Iris what he wanted to be when he grew up (this is a BIG topic at home at the moment).

She said that he had.  They had discussed it in class last week.  She also said that his was the most intelligent answer she got back.

Iris said there are quite a few train drivers; a couple of superheroes; and quite a number of princesses.  When she got round to ask him….

“A scientist who finds dinosaur bones, a paleantologist – that kind”.  She was most impressed, and especially because he can say the word properly too.  LOL!!

He is completely obsessed with dinosaurs now.  Plastic dinosaurs are all over our house, and my mom’s house.

I spent the morning with Connor while Lance was at work.

I was there when the doc was there again, it’s always much nicer to get the feedback from her directly.  She wasn’t too sure about whether to keep the monitors on or not, but she decided to keep them on one more night as his breathing is a bit too fast at times for her to be comfortable.  Please God let this not carry on, or else he’ll be put back on oxygen!  
She also decreed that he should try one bottle today!!!  Yippee!! 
She’;s quite happy with his progress, she said he has made the progress that she was expecting, unlike 2 of the other babies in the ICU who are now VERY sick (I feel so sorry for their parents).

I got to bath him myself today!!  I really enjoyed that.  Lance was back from the office by then, so he got to help me too!  Connor really likes his hair being washed, I hope it stays like that, and he doesn’t become like his brother! LOL

Good news… his nappy rash is MUCH better, in fact it’s almost gone.  They’ve been using cold rooibos tea to clean his bum since yesterday, instead of baby wipes, and Bepanthan cream – what an amazing difference in such a short time!!  I was amazed.

We went back to the hospital this afternoon especially to be there for his first bottle.  He managed to drink 30ml’s of the 55ml’s with the bottle before he gave up.  It was such a struggle to get him to suck.  He’d suck twice and then fall asleep again.  The nurse had to constantly tickle him under his chin and move his cheeks.
It was so funny though.  When she had him lying down in her arms his eyes would close and he would fall asleep. As soon as she lifted him into a sitting position to burp him, his eyes would open again- just like a doll. 

Hopefully he learn quickly.  I want to take him home now.

I printed a pic of Connor from yesterday for Bradley to take to school with him today (so that it was similar to what he saw).  He was so pleased that he had something to show his teachers.  You can tell by the way he’s talking that it’s more real to him now.  He’s talking about “his baby” again, just like he did when I was pregnant. 

Lily turned off the oxygen overnight.  I didn't think he was very happy last night when I left with the moisture in the tube, he looked a lot more peaceful this morning without it.
So all he’s attached to now is the feeding tube and the monitors. He’s also been dressed .  He is SO cosy now with clothes and swaddled in blankets.  The bed heater has been turned off.  Heather was saying this morning that he’s like a different baby now that he’s swaddled.  He’s sleeping for hours at a time now.

I was there for his first bath this morning too!!  They did a demo bath, and I got to dry and dress him. 
He loved it!!  He loved getting his hair washed, and he just sat in the bath in a trance looking at everything around him.  So cute.
The only thing I’m not happy with, is the nappy rash he’s got.  They only change his nappy at feeding time, and if he’s sleeping, they just leave his nappy (but give him milk).  He again had a poo nappy, and the nurse said they’d left him at his last bottle feed because he was sleeping. His bum is RAW!
And they weighed him.  He weighs 2.883kg now.  Heather said it wasn’t bad considering how sick he was.

Anyway, because he’s not really attached to much, they said I could take him to the door to show Bradley. So at 1pm today, he met his brother. He couldn't touch him though or come too close, but still!! :-)
Connor was sleeping by then.  Bradley looked at him and said “he has small ears”.  And then he started breathing deeply (nearly hyperventilating) to show Connor how to do it.  He just grinned!  I’m so happy that he’s seen him.  It’s all of a sudden real to him.

They’re going to start giving him a bottle tomorrow. Hopefully it won’t be long before he’s home, but I think this little munchkin is going to be lazy with the bottle. He likes that feeding tube too much!!

Yesterday afternoon I had my “family and friends” babyshower at my mom’s house.  It was lovely.  Got very spoilt again!!

Kathy was even there! It was really nice to have everyone there.

Bradley had a ball too, playing with Skylar, Hannah and Angelique.  They played so nicely together – hardly any fighting.

It was so strange… without a tummy and without a baby.  I felt a bit lost in the beginning.
Tomorrow’s baby shower at work is going to be worse I think for me.

Lance took me back to the hospital this evening for an hour.

I snuck another cuddle in .  They don’t let you hold the babies between feeding times.  You can only pick them up half an hour before a feed and then the same after a feed.  However, when I looked at him this evening, I noticed that his bed was wet, so they had to change the blankets etc.  It was wet through!  He would’ve slept like that for another 2 hours, because they only move them at feeding time – which is 9pm!
No wonder he was awake when I got there.

Anyway, I got to cuddle him, and within 10 minutes he was sleeping.

This afternoon they took off the last drip !!!  And, the heaters on the bed have been turned off and he’s wrapped in blankets.

I told the nurse (Lily) that there were clothes in his bag, if she wanted to dress him.  I know that he's warm enough because they do check, I just think he'd be cosier in a babygrow now.

They tried to take him off the oxygen this morning, but he wasn’t happy with it, so he’s back on at 22%.  They don’t want to increase it.

His milk has also been increased again to 55mls, which he seems fine with.

I changed his nappy again for his 12pm feed (again a pooey one) – I got wee'd on! LOL!

When I was cuddling him and feeding him, he started gagging.  I got SUCH a fright, but the nurse said the tube might have been a bit short and tickling him, because he settled down again.
His respiratory rate went down to 88 after his milk was finished, and the alarm went off.  When Heather came over a few minutes later, she said that he tends to do that while he digest his food, but they’re not too worried because it’s not too low, and because it goes up again quite quickly they’re not going to increase the oxygen again.  Hope he gets over that, it’s going to scare me shitless if that happens when he gets home.

He was sleeping so nicely while I was cuddling him.  Heather is going to ask Dr Simmank whether they can dress him now and turn the heaters off.  He seems to sleep much better being swaddled. We'll have to see tomorrow.