Hold your boys close

March 17, 2010 filed under kids | 5 Comments

I read about the Violence Unsilenced blog a few months ago, and I went to read a few entries that day. It’s an incredible blog. It’s written by people who have experienced some kind of domestic violence, and people use the blog to recount their stories. It’s about speaking out.

Then 2 days ago, one of the bloggers I follow, posted a link on Twitter to Brian’s story.
While I can’t personally relate to the story, it struck a cord in me. One of my greatest fears is that my boys experience something like he did. And that they perpetuate what they experienced.

It’s such a difficult thing to teach your kids what to look out for in life. There’s a fine line between getting them to understand gently and scaring them shitless.

But teach them we must. Even though I don’t want to explain “why” at times. Even though it’s uncomfortable. Because it will save them a lifetime of pain and asking why.

I got an email from him after I commented on the post, and he said “hold your boys close”

And that’s what I’m going to try and do.

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Jenty
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    Comments

  • cat@juggling act


    Oh Jenty, I went to read it and yes, I need to hear this. Somehow, we focus more on keeping our girls safe, maybe because she is older in my case and I am not there yet with my boys, but one thing I do know, we need to be so alert. As you both said, keep them close. Thanks girl.

  • Janet


    Shivers! That is an awufl story, but what a brave man to pull himself together. Its such a sick world out there – its hard to make the right choices as parents. I am reading Nineteen Minutes and it also shows, that however hard we try, sometimes, things don’t go as planned – I think Brian is right J, hold them close – I do the same with Stacey.

  • Fairy Girl


    Shoo, I got goosies reading that story. Thanks for the post. I have a friend who is going thru a similar thing and it is ruining her life and her families life, it is so so sad – all we can do as friends is be there to listen and try offer a helping hand.

    I have taught Joshua that if anything eva happens to him, he must kick them between the “twig and berries” and obviously tell me. It is very scary raising boys and girls. Our kiddies are so precious.

  • tysdaddy


    This is why I wrote what I did. Sure, it was cathartic for me, and helped bring me that small step closer to letting all of it go, but I hoped it would also be an exhortation of sorts. A reminder to pay attention, to be wary, to listen to the hair that rises on the back of your neck when things just don’t feel right. Not to make people scared, but to make them just a bit more aware.

    Thank you for taking that message to heart. And for your kindness . . .

  • tysdaddy


    Have I mentioned that I love your blog design? I stopped by again, just to look at it . . .

    Simply lovely!

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