Bradley is being bullied

I knew it… I just knew there was a reason for his morning headaches and sore tummy and occasional vomiting.  There was no way that it was a tummy bug.

This morning, after he complained again of a headache and sore tummy and said that he didn’t want to go to school, I decided that I wasn’t going to let it slide again.  It took me half an hour of talking, but eventually the truth came out.

He’s being bullied at break time in the school play grounds by a “gang” of Grade 4’s (he’s in Grade 2).

If he’s on his own, they hold him, and pinch him and tease him.  If he’s playing with his friend Angelique they laugh at him.  If he tries to play with the boys, they hold him back until his friends disappear and then he can’t find them.

So he’s playing alone most of the time.

It makes me SO SO mad! The school is adament that their bully policy works.  But it’s clearly not working at all.

I tried to tell him to stand up for himself, but he doesn’t want to be a bully too (which is what the policy says).  So he refuses.

You see, a few years ago he was bullied by a kid in his class.  We got him to stand up for himself and the bullying stopped, and as a result he eventually got labelled a bully too… and now he doesn’t want that to happen again.

AAarrrrggghhh!

No wonder he hasn’t been wanting to go to school.

Lance spoke to his teacher this morning because Bradley actually doesn’t know the names of the boys in question.  They better do something about it.

This makes me a VERY unhappy bunny, and I’m uber grumpy today as a result.

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34 Responses to Bradley is being bullied

  1. Aasia March 28, 2011 at 11:01 am #

    I’m sorry that this has happened. And sometimes as a parent you HAVE to step in. I hope he gets better

  2. Hanlie March 28, 2011 at 11:02 am #

    I hope the school can help address this. Bradley sounds like a lovely child and you have to respect his choice not to be a bully. I would be mad too!

  3. Alana March 28, 2011 at 11:03 am #

    Oh man, that is so awful! :( I’m so sorry to hear this and my thoughts are with Bradley and you!

  4. Sarah March 28, 2011 at 11:07 am #

    Oh mannnn – that makes me mad too. The teachers should see what is happening in the playground!

  5. Janet March 28, 2011 at 11:16 am #

    :( Poor Bradley.
    We’re in the same position. It makes me so angry… and sad :(

  6. Tania March 28, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    Arrgghh, makes you wish you could swap places with him so you can go sort those kids out. I hope the school gets to the bottom of it!

  7. Fiona March 28, 2011 at 11:26 am #

    Oh no Jeanette! I’m so mad on your behalf. I really hope the school solves this problem asap. I feel so sad for Bradley :(

  8. Lindy March 28, 2011 at 11:31 am #

    Oh poor thing! I hope it gets sorted soon.

  9. Kim (frogpondsrock) March 28, 2011 at 11:34 am #

    bullying of your child is the one thing that makes you feel so powerless and helpless as a mother. David was bullied terribly all through primary school. I don’t know how many times I went down to the school to see if it could be sorted out. Everything I tried to do just seemed to make it worse. GAH. As once the teachers were out of sight the bullying resumed but now David was a “dobber” as well. I may as well have just painted a bloody great target on his head.

    So frustrating, and heartbreaking.

    Love xx

  10. Jacqueline Volschenk March 28, 2011 at 11:45 am #

    Thats so unfair, I hate when kids are so mean. Hope they get it sorted today.*twisted*…

  11. Rebecca March 28, 2011 at 11:47 am #

    Bullying makes me incandescent with rage. It’s so pointless and so cowardly and it hurst so much when it’s happening.

    I wish there was a way that we could get our kids to know that school is such a short time of our lives and that things usually get so much better in relation to things like this when we finally leave.

    By the way, I went to school with one of Jackson’s teachers at his pre-school and I always thought about how glad I was that I was never a bully at school because you just never know where or when you might run into people again…

  12. Carl de Montille March 28, 2011 at 11:47 am #

    Poor little tyke.. I agree with you. He needs to stand up for himself. I know its tough. I was bullied at primary school, until I stood up to the retard! Stopped it right there.

    Good luck!

  13. alidaonline March 28, 2011 at 11:51 am #

    I’m not a parent but bullying makes my blood boil anyway!

    I hope for Bradley’s sake that the school sorts out the problem. It’s just not on.

  14. Ness at Drovers Run March 28, 2011 at 11:52 am #

    I hear you completely. We had a small bullying situation last year in my eldest sons first year at his new private school, and the school said it was an isolated incident. The second time it happened, I marched right up the kid in question, and told him in no uncertain terms that if he messed with my kid, he was dealing with me (they’re only 5 and 6yrs old) and I also went to the headmistress and said that if it happened again, all hell would break loose. With a private school, it’s a question of “I pay, I say” so they can stand on their heads and do the hula if they want to, but in the end I WILL have my way. There have been no more incidents at all – and in fact my son is now friendly with the kid who caused the problem in the first place. Incidently, I took a teacher with me, when I spoke to the other kid – so that there was a witness!

  15. marieks March 28, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

    I have the exact same scenario every morning before school, sore tummy, crying, doesn’t want to go to school. Turns out it is a friend’s son bullying mine, and the parents do nothing! (Even after seeing it happen right in front of them). So I taught kid to fight/hit/kick back. And now he is the “bully”.

    I’m now back to teaching him to just go tell a teacher if something happens, but my blood boils everytime I see that other little boy.

    Big ((hugs)) to you, hope the school does something and the bullying stops asap.

    And even bigger ((hugs)) to your little boy:)

  16. cat@juggling act March 28, 2011 at 12:40 pm #

    Oh Jeanette, my heart goes out to you both. I have no advice, but I think the school needs to stand account.

  17. Joy-Anne Goodenough March 28, 2011 at 12:48 pm #

    argh this is enough to drive a mom wild, esp when you feel powerless. all the best for Bradley. he will learn something out of this and it’s great he trusted you enough to confide before it went on too long. even if things don’t come right immediatly he knows you know.

  18. Gina March 28, 2011 at 12:59 pm #

    Poor boy, I really hope the teachers/school can sort it out.
    I hate bullies and am so impressed with Bradley for not wanting to be the ‘bully’ back!

  19. Avril (Mom) March 28, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    Oh no !! Makes my blood boil!

  20. Angel March 28, 2011 at 1:33 pm #

    I hope the school does something soon. And in my experience, they know exactly whats going on and who is involved.

  21. Sandi-Lee Curle March 28, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    Poor little man. What an awful situation. I can just imagine how heartbroken you must feel :-(

  22. kalpa March 28, 2011 at 2:37 pm #

    this is the one situation i would not know what to do!!!!!!!!! My son is rather petite for his age and very ‘gentle’ so i dont know what we would do. school had better sort it out soon. Jenty sending some prayers for bradley and you :)

  23. Jacqui Meyersfeld March 28, 2011 at 2:46 pm #

    Jen – I am so sorry and simultaneously enraged! Kids can be so cruel and the schools need to be more in tune and responsive. I agree with so many of your msgs, you do need to get involved and raise it at his school without taking away his power to deal with it on his own. Such a hard balance to strike as a parent – a mother who has to watch her special angel and feel so helpless xxx

  24. Melany March 28, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    Oh man. That is so difficult!!! Jason got bullied for a while (actually too long) when he was in Grade 1. I finally went to the boy (during a rugby practice) and told him that I’ve had enough of his nonsense. That worked …

  25. Natalie Gallagher March 28, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

    I remember the teasing at school. Not sure it ever escalated to actual bullying, probably because I was such a hardass. It turned me into a loner though, when I think my true base nature is actually social. I know this is tough for you as a parent, but I have no doubt you will do everything in your power to help him, in whatever form that help needs to take. At least he knows you have his back. I never was sure of that and I think that was more damaging than the teasing kids. Sending hugs.

  26. Kathy March 28, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

    So sorry to hear that Bradley is getting bullied. Hope you sort it out soon. Lots of hugs xxxx

  27. Hayley March 28, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    Arrrrgghhh….makes me so damn mad!
    Let us know what happens.

  28. Laura March 28, 2011 at 7:40 pm #

    WTF? That is ugly Jeanette :( The poor kid! I would also “fake” illness!!!

    Really hope the school step in and sort it out!

  29. Michelle March 28, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

    Hugs to Bradley xx My heart goes out to Bradley and all of you, we went thru the same at primary school and schools tend to wear blinkers against bullying, as they don’t want their school to be associated with the stigma. The PM in NZ has finally stepped in and told schools to act against the bullies as we have had so many incidences were kids get bullied during & after school (one girl was kicked until she was unconscious) and it gets videod by their mates on their phones and forwarded to other kids. Stick to your guns and make sure sometyhing gets done as it will affect him long term if it does not get sorted :(

  30. Louise H Nee-Hess March 28, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    Jeanette this is really not nice, and no I don’t believe the school’s anti bullying policy is working if primary school kids are getting away with this. How come grade 4’s have access to grade 2’s at playtime? At our school the gr 0’s have their very own playground, 1&2’s have their own playground and bigger kids aren’t allowed at break – there are monitors (gr 7) to make sure that little kids stay in and big kids out! I do believe that you stand in your kid’s corner and fight that fight, and you can do so unobtrusively with the school.

  31. Louisa March 28, 2011 at 11:20 pm #

    Shame poor Bradley, and he’s such a sweetie. I’d be unhappy too.

  32. Corey~living and loving March 29, 2011 at 12:24 am #

    oh man…what a horrible thing. :( I do hope it gets sorted out quickly. My heart hurts for poor Bradley. :(

  33. Marcia (123 blog) March 30, 2011 at 3:12 pm #

    I am SO cross reading this and it’s not even my kid.

    I really hope it stops soon – I feel instinctively that the only thing that will work is him standing up for himself. However much we want to go in and make things better makes things worse for them sometimes. But it is serious – after all, have you seen all the Oprah/ Dr Phil shows on the bullying? TERRIBLE!

  34. Nicole de Montille March 30, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    I hear you – Erin hasn’t been bullied per se, but there has been many a morning where she is very reluctant to go to school because of some kid. We are soooooo lucky she has the most amazing teacher who wants the kids to tell her when the other children are doing horrible things to them and others. As she puts it “she would rather filter out the good and bad for herself than let a child possibly suffer unnecessarily”.
    It is a lot easier with a 3/4 yr old than a 7/8 yr old to get them to tell the teacher. Bradley is a super kid and he will come through this – thank goodness he has such an amazing family to support him and remind him every day he is loved no matter what. Fight this all the way – Bradley will love you for it all the more