OK, I’m a little behind with my bucket list project but today I accomplished another thing on the list…

I jumped off a building.

And I managed to get almost my entire family to come along with me, and we made it a bonding exercise! LOL!

We went to the Orlando Towers in Soweto and my mom, Elaine and myself did the power swing and Bryan did the bungee jump… while Lance and my dad watched the kids and took photos from the ground.

I have a few things about today that I just have to put down… and this blog is the best place I can think of doing that… considering this bucket list item was actually all about fear and the unknown and trust… let me talk about just that…

- Elaine is generally scared of heights… and I’m so pleased she did it in the end And she looked a lot braver than I felt I looked just before she jumped!

- It’s freaking high up…. 100m into the air.

- The only thing that really worried me up there, were the cables.  In the photo of me just getting off the ledge, you can see the 3 cables that connect to the towers… I was convinced I would swing into them!!

- I would have prefered to go first just so I didn’t have to wait so long, but I love that my mom did… and she seemed to thoroughly enjoy it

- It’s a pity I wasn’t able to take a camera up there.  The view was incredible.  Absolutely amazing!!

- I think one of the reasons I was so frightened, no, I know, was trust.  I wasn’t sure that I could trust the cable, even though they told you so many times about the checks etc… and I’d watched my mom and sister do it… it was scary to trust it.

- That free fall of 40m before the cable took the strain and swung me out… took my breath away completely. I only screamed when I started relaxing when the swing started.

-The R100 extra charged for the photos was well well worth the money.  I’m so glad I have close-up proof of how inelegant I look jumping off something!!

- While I was waiting for the swing to come up again, I sat down, and I must’ve looked scared shitless, because the one dude came and sat next to me and asked me what I was thinking.  I didn’t tell him.  I was actually visualising myself swinging… yip… I do that.  I get through things by visualising them.  In fact, I was at that moment, visualising getting over the railing and swinging… not from the platform. In my mind I’d done it… and that’s why I didn’t chicken out in the end.

- It felt really surreal up there.  I kept looking ar0und to drink it all in… and willing myself to remember all the details.  Without a camera on me, I felt naked and had just my memory to remember.

- I’m glad the boys were there to see me do it.  Bradley very proudly told Ouma on the phone this evening that I jumped off a building in Soweto. She must’ve had a heart attack… more because we were in Soweto though and I can’t think that she believed the rest!! LOL!

I’ve put all the images onto my photo blog, so hop on over there to see…

The only thing I regret about the day, was that the restaurants in Vilakazi street were all closed because of the public holiday… I would have liked to have lived out the rest of the planned day, and taken my family around Soweto… I just loved that part of the city Instead we went to my parent’s house for pizza and a swim.

It was an amazing day, and one that we’ll never forget.

It feels like it’s time to post this.   I wasn’t going to.  I hate making resolutions, and if you’ve been reading my blog for a few years, you’d know that I don’t do them.  They’re a waste of time.

But in the same breath, this year, I feel the need to think about the future.  I feel the need to dream a bit and expand my realm of personal reality.  I don’t feel the need to reflect, possibly because I think this was a hard year, and I can’t say I’ve accomplished all that much.  Well, I’ve done a lot of stuff… but not accomplished anything that’s long term KWIM.

So, this is my wish list for the next year.  I’m not calling them goals… I’m too chicken to do that.  Call this a whisper of wishes… whispering them into the interwebs.  A bit of dreaming.  Not in the hopes of making them real… but in the hopes of just recording my wishes today…

- Sleep more

- Create art

- Find my voice

- Get energy back into my soul

- Be recognised and respected

- Earn enough during the year to pay off our debt

- Finish my Project 40 bucket list project

- Reconnect with friends properly

- Have time to myself without feeling guilty that I’m stealing the boys’ time with me

- Get balance back in my life

- Love more

- Laugh more

- Be brave

… and maybe, just maybe, I’ll accomplish some of it…

I’ve got itchy feet.  Serious itchy feet.

I’ve already signed up for 2 photography workshops in January.  One is a boudoir workshop for one day by Yvette (Innovate Photo), and the other is an online 1 month long course on expanding my mind for lifestyle photography, run by a US photographer.  I’m thinking I need to be pushed again… I feel like I’m getting stale.

And now I saw this course… and oh wow I’m so tempted!

This five week online class complete with inspiring lessons, real life stories, secret missions, audio interviews and hands-on activities will help you take your dreams from the realm of wishing into everyday motion.

Something has to change… and I think this time I need help… just got to figure out how… maybe something like this course?

It’s actually all about pushing my boundaries and trying to be brave I think…

I had a rough night last night. Not drinking rough though… I edited the Branson images until 2am to get them ready for delivery (they had to be delivered before 8am and my MacBook was acting up and chugging)

So today after I got home from an early morning shoot, Lance insisted that I nap… While he went to work. He just didn’t get that I cannot do that!

Even though I didn’t drink last night I feel like I’ve got a hangover. I really feel quite rough.
So I ended up napping for an hour before taking the kids for a Wimpy lunch (where I’m typing this)

Sitting here reminded me of how I could express that guilty feeling. You know that advert on TV where the mom has passed out and the little boy makes his sister breakfast? That advert kills me every time I see it, and that feeling I get when I watch that advert is the same feeling I get when I take a nap during the day and I’m alone at home with the kids.

 

So, there are a lot of bloggers and IG’ers doing a thankful and grateful meme this month, and posting photos every day with the things that they’re grateful for.  I decided not to partake in it… mostly because of time issues.  But today I attended Wenchy’s 11th Thanksgiving lunch that she hosts every year on the Sunday after Thanksgiving in the US.  For the US readers of my blog, Thanksgiving is not something we ordinarily celebrate in SA.

Anyhoo, she throws a magnificent shindig every year, and invites her friends and family.  This year it was held at their home, and for a change I didn’t take my camera out of my bag… instead I took one photo with my iPhone. Only one… the one in this post.

Everyone gets a turn to speak.  Everyone gets a turn to say what they’re thankful for and grateful for this year.  Even Bradley spoke today… in front of all those people… and there must’ve been more than 50 people there today.  I was so proud of him

So when it was my turn to speak, my brain went to mush.  Partly because of my sinuses that have clogged up my brain waves… but anyhoo, I decided I have quite a bit that I’m grateful for, so I’ll just blog it instead.

1.  I’m grateful for my husband and kids who let me think up crazy ideas and just go with them.  Like jumping off buildings.  Seriously… this is what I said!! LOL!

2.  I’m grateful that I’ve been able to tell the stories of so many people this year.  Seriously… and that’s the only other thing I said today… crazy hey?!

And this is what I should have said… I’m grateful that…

1.  My husband and kids let me dream up crazy things to do… and let me do them.  Lance does smile, and sometimes shake his head, but he never tries to stop me.

2.  I have so huge supporters in my husband and parents for my career issues that I’m having this year.

3.  I can live out my dreams

4.  I’ve been able to tell Kathy’s cancer story

5.  I’ve been able to show the love between so many people this year

6.  The dogs are calmer and not so looney anymore and my garden is starting to recover from their puppy phase

7.  Friends in my computer who send me the most awesome emails just to let me know that they’re thinking about me.  They read between my blog lines so very well.  You know who you are

8.  Friends who let me just sit at parties now and don’t expect me to take my camera out all the time… they understand that I need the timeout

9.  Connor who is growing up and so very cute, and so very maddening.  and who ever so often says… “Mommy wouldn’t that be a nice photo, get your camera out”

10.  Bradley who is still the gentlest soul… but who fights in a very ugly way with Connor at times (hopefully this stops soon)

11.  My mom who picks the kids up every single day from school and does the afternoon mad rush with extramurals etc

12.  Lance telling me when something I’m wearing doesn’t look good.  He’s normally right

and finally… that our little family is healthy.

So, this blog post is a little belated, and if you follow me on Twitter and Facebook and my other photography blog you would know that I’ve ticked off another item on my bucket list… to take photos of the city from a helicopter.

It was luck more than anything else… I was planning doing an elephant ride for this month, but Suren phoned me a few weeks ago telling me that he’d organised a surprise helicopter ride on his wedding day, and that because the aim was to fly somewhere to do the creative shoot, I was going to go with them. It was a surprise for the bride, and because they both follow me on Twitter and Facebook I couldn’t exactly blog about it

Of course I said yes so the helicopter picked us up (much to the surprise of the bride), and we flew to a mountain top in the Magaliesburg (just on the other side of Harties).  I took photos of the couple for 20 minutes before it was time to zoot off again… this time to Sandton.  And that’s when I got to quickly take some city shots… I wasn’t able to ask the pilots to circle or anything because we running late for the bride’s next hair appointment.

You’re probably wondering if I enjoyed it… I loved it!! I also loved when the pilots decided to boast a little and swoop down over Gerotek where we spotted a few people on the skid pans. I did get a little queasy by the end… but that’s because it was so very hot on Saturday.  But all in all it was an amazing experience,and is most worthwhile doing.

I have to add what happened when we landed. The only place close to Sandton that allows helicopters, is Inanda club, and we duly landed next to the polo fields.
Nedbank was having their year end function at Inanda that day, so the place was jam packed. So our driver from the hotel pulls up to the helicopter in a big black Merc with tinted windows and off we go.
As we pass the crowds it was so funny seeing everyone trying to see through the windows to see who these celebs were that arrived in such style. LOL!

Life is just insanely hectic right now, and I know it’s all my fault for making it this way.

I’m actually not sure how I’m going to get through this month.

This is what I did this weekend:

Friday night… edited about 1000 wedding images.  Didn’t feel like blogging.

Saturday… met a bride at a temple to scope it out for next week’s wedding. Then went to her future MIL’s house around the corner and discovered that they run a feeding scheme once a month, and they were preparing for a lunch where they were going to feed 500 kids and a few hundred adults.  So I got my camera out and took a few photos… they will be blogged about tomorrow.  Then went home.  Picked up the kids and took them to the shops to buy a pressie for today’s party, and food. Got home and made lunch. Had a nap for 30 minutes which gave me a headache.  Watched Connor swim for 10 minutes, and left Lance doing that when I left the house for the photoshoot.  Did a family photoshoot.  Got home and started supper.  Watched a movie with the kids. Lance put the kids to bed while I started editing and blogging.  Went to bed early, cos my eyes were just not staying awake… 10:30pm

Sunday… woke up 7am with the dogs howling and whining for food.  Fed said dogs.  Left Lance to feed the kids, while I had a shower, got dressed and then took the dogs to Walkhaven for a walk.  They had a ball.  Kimo was so very good today. He was attacked by another big dog, and stood his ground, but let me seperate him from the other dog and then ran off to the marsh to rather play with his sister in the black mud.  Dropped the dogs off at home, to pick up the kids.  Drove to the other side of town for Aaron’s party. Actually did nothing at the party .  Got Steers on the way home for lunch cos I’m too tired to cook.  And now I’m blogging.

This is what I’ve got planned for the rest of today:  Attend the Tranquil Treats Christmas launch party with the kids at Lifestyle at 2pm. Get home to drop the kids off.  Go to a photoshoot in a park.  Then phone bride for next week’s wedding… and meet her at sunset for a few photos under a jacaranda tree. Then come home and I suppose cook and bath… and then edit and blog.

And the next 5 weeks are looking kinda the same if not busier.

I need sleep.

I actually wish I could take my editing to work, cos that would let me catch up and then maybe I could sleep.

I’ve been struggling with a cold for the last few days, and I can’t seem to shake it.  It’s just not bad enough to go to the doctor.

So tonight, after the cough mixture just wasn’t working and I was continually coughing, I thought I’d nebulise myself… it works for the boys… well…

You seen, what I’d forgotten, and remembered just now, was that Combivent was the stuff the hospital used to stop the contractions when I went into labour with Connor at 34 weeks.  If you didn’t know me then and didn’t read my blog then, I was in the labour ward for 4 days while they tried to stop the contractions.  By the fourth day I was just shaking all the time from the stuff, and the gynae said that if he wasn’t born that day, that I would have heart failure because my heart wasn’t coping.

Well, as I sit here typing up this blog post, I’m feeling the same way…  All fidgety and shaky and getting heart palpitations… scary shit!

And memories of all those days of being hooked up to machines… and lots of visitors… and struggling to hold pens to play Sudoku came rushing back…

So, guess I won’t ever be doing that again, will I?

But the coughing has stopped!

If you’ve been following my photoblog you would know that I went to Cape Town over the weekend with my mom. It was actually the first time the 2 of us have travelled anywhere on our own… just the two of us… so it was very special… especially because she likes photos and wine as much as I do!

The trip was planned for me to take photos of my aunt, who is fighting breast cancer (photos are on my other blog).  And other than that the weekend was ALL about family visits and relaxing.

Here’s a rundown of my weekend…

1.  Kulula was again late.  Surprise.  Surprise.  Both ways.  Don’t understand why I book flights on that airline.  And in fact, after having to get another car at Avis after the first car’s front seat was jammed, and having to find my mom’s drivers license because I’d stupidly left mine at home;  we only got to Ian and Kathy’s house on Friday night at 11:30pm!  Oh and the photo on the blog post… that’s the view from their house…

2.  On Saturday morning, my mom and I drove to Hermanus (roadtrip photo on the left) to see my other aunt and uncle.  It was quite strange visiting Hermanus without my grandmother being there.  My aunt made the most incredible lunch… and I stupidly didn’t take a photo of the plate.  She made chicken breasts stuffed with bacon and sage and rolled in bacon.  The chicken was cut into discs and place on a bed of homegrown lettuce with homemade garlic mayonnaise (the family recipe I use at Christmas time) and homemade crostinis. It was delish!! Felt so very spoilt having such an amazing meal at lunchtime.

3. On Saturday afternoon, we drove to the mountains in the Stellenbosch region to the Da Capo Wine estate to take Kathy’s photos.  We met up with my mom’s family and had an extreme picnic in the freezing wet weather… and that’s quite a story so it deserves a blog post on it’s own  But we did have some magnificent wine and cheeses so the weather was somewhat ignored.

4.  Then we crashed… had an early night to recover from the previous 2 days

5.  On Sunday morning, Kathy booked a table at Tokara for breakfast, and that also deserves it’s own blog post, because it was a gorgeous meal!

6.  Then we ambled back down the mountains and up another hill to stop at Uva Mira for a spot of wine tasting and wine buying (this will be in another blog post too), and a few more images before we went to visit my gran in the home in Somerset West.

7.  And then I took some scar photos (if you haven’t seen them yet, please go and look, my aunt is so very brave and just incredible), before heading back home.

The only thing I didn’t get to do, was have a tweetup but that was my own stupid fault because I didn’t have my drivers license on me (and we got stopped in a roadblock on the first evening and I didn’t feel like taking a chance).

I did have LOADS of wine, and LOADS of good food, and LOADS of awesome family time it was perfect.

So, I did a very scary thing yesterday… and I’m not talking about the actual boudoir shoot… I got on the other side of the camera.  For a change I wasn’t the photographer, but the subject… and OMG that was more unnerving than getting my kit off for the shoot!!

I can successfully say that I’ve ticked off another item from my bucket list.  Yay!! Boudoir shoot = done!

A lot of people on Twitter have been asking me how it went, so it deserves a quick blog post

The first question everyone is asking, is who on earth I got to do the shoot?  Well, I chose Yvette from Innovate Photo.  She’s a Cape Town based boudoir photographer, who travels to Joburg every few months, and I’ve been following her work for ages.  I know, she’s not local, but her style is similar to mine, and it’s real, and she was planning a trip to Joburg… so I took the opportunity to book her.  I know for her, it must have been unnerving to take photos of another photographer, so big ups to her!!

So, after getting my outfits ready after my last blog post, I also had to do a quick makeover on my bedroom.  We had planned on using another venue, but it fell through… so I made the call to redecorate my bedroom (photos to be blogged in a few days once I’m actually completely finished with it)… and it was  a mad rush to find all white linen and new bedside lamps and new mirrors and new trinkets etc… and thankfully I was ready in time

Lance was working, so Madelein kindly offered to take the kids on a picnic while we were busy… and then I was set… well… almost… apart from the nerves.

Yvette’s makeup artist arrived first, and started setting up, while I cracked open the champagne LOL!! Therein lies the mistake.  I thought, hell, even though it’s Sunday morning, I need to relax, and this is a big deal, so lets drink .  I didn’t think about the fact that I didn’t eat lunch, or that by the end of the shoot I’d virtually finished the entire bottle of champers!! And champagne doesn’t agree with me!!  So I ended up with a humungous headache and by the time I went to sleep I was properly hungover!

Anyhoo, it was fun.  Loved the outfits!! I ended up buying far too many, and we had about 7 to choose from in the end, if you count the sheets as an outfit.  The shocking pink babydoll from La Senza ended up being my favourite and it really worked so well against the white sheets… and my pale skin!! LOL! But I think Yvette really had her work cut out for her with me… and my body LOL! I’m definitely not one of her usual model looking clients, and the photos I saw before she left looked amazing

I’m really glad I did it, and I learnt a hell of a lot about myself, and I reckon I’ll be  a much better boudoir photographer because of the experience of being on the other side of the lens for a change.  Some of my random thoughts about it…

• As a photographer, I can so readily “see” the image that I want and instruct the client to move in certain ways.  But yesterday, unless it was the champagne that muddled my mind completely, I often had no idea what she was seeing, so I relied a LOT on her instructions.  Big learning… it again reinforced the importance of explaining poses properly so that my clients can understand what I’m talking about.
• I probably should have gone to gym for a few months before this so that at least my stomach wasn’t so evident!! My boobs I can do very little about, unless I get a boob job (and that’s not on my bucket list)
• A good makeup artist that you trust is so very important for shoots like this.  Rozaan was awesome! Loved the smokey look she gave me.
• I knew basically what to prepare for this, but a list of outfit choices that work and lighting/sheets that you need is so important.  I’m going to get a style guide together for boudoir shoots I think.
• Never underestimate the amount of mental preparation someone goes through when booking this type of shoot.  It’s not only about the outfits and finding stuff that you think works for your body.  It’s organising the household so that you can be alone. It’s the redecorating of a room so that light is right, or phoning hotel after hotel to book a room for the event.  It’s cleaning the room before the shoot.  It’s being aware of what you really dislike about your body so that the photographer can avoid those areas… or enhance the parts that you do like… so that she doesn’t waste shots that you’ll never ever choose.
• If you’re unfit like me, it’s quite a workout to move and contort your body for 2/3 hours… oh man my back is quite stiff today!! And yes, I’m that unfit!

So anyway… it’s done… and now I wait to see the final images )

Thanks Yvette for the awesome experience… and one day when you decide to do this for yourself, let me know