It feels like it’s time to post this.   I wasn’t going to.  I hate making resolutions, and if you’ve been reading my blog for a few years, you’d know that I don’t do them.  They’re a waste of time.

But in the same breath, this year, I feel the need to think about the future.  I feel the need to dream a bit and expand my realm of personal reality.  I don’t feel the need to reflect, possibly because I think this was a hard year, and I can’t say I’ve accomplished all that much.  Well, I’ve done a lot of stuff… but not accomplished anything that’s long term KWIM.

So, this is my wish list for the next year.  I’m not calling them goals… I’m too chicken to do that.  Call this a whisper of wishes… whispering them into the interwebs.  A bit of dreaming.  Not in the hopes of making them real… but in the hopes of just recording my wishes today…

- Sleep more

- Create art

- Find my voice

- Get energy back into my soul

- Be recognised and respected

- Earn enough during the year to pay off our debt

- Finish my Project 40 bucket list project

- Reconnect with friends properly

- Have time to myself without feeling guilty that I’m stealing the boys’ time with me

- Get balance back in my life

- Love more

- Laugh more

- Be brave

… and maybe, just maybe, I’ll accomplish some of it…

The kids’ toys have been bugging me for ages, so I got a bee into my bonnet this afternoon and I’ve just finished cleaning them up and doing a major chuck out.

I was amazed at how much they let me throw out… and in a way it made me sad.

What I did was have 3 piles… one with broken toys to throw in the dustbin… one for toys to donate… and the other the toys to keep.

I then asked the kids to go through the donation pile and move the ones that they still played with to the “keep” pile.  And they went through the “keep” pile and donate the toys that they didn’t play with anymore.  I didn’t get much wrong, although I started being more ruthless when Connor shouted that something needed to go to the donate pile… when it was “too baby-ish… yuk”.

It made me feel really sad to get rid of the last of the Fisher Price toys (the ones for age 2+), and all the brightly coloured cars with chunky tyres.  The only toys Connor wanted to keep were the guns and swords and Bakugans and the Hot Wheels and the meaner looking toys.

My baby is gone

But it’s crazy keeping the toys.  In the end I threw out 2 rubbish bags of broken toys, and then I went to the carwash and gave the ladies a rubbish bag of old toys… and I’m going to give Beauty (my domestic helper) the last bag of old toys for her grandson.

…. and now we’re going to watch a movie.

We had an early Christmas present opening session last night at my parent’s house, with my brother and his family.  They weren’t going to be with us on Christmas day, so we had a Christmas Eve celebration too… and the kids opened a few of their presents.

Erin had asked Father Christmas for a Ken doll, and we heard about this and knew that Santa wasn’t bringing her one, so that was one of the gifts that we bought her.

And then, Pavya, and ex-colleague of mine, who lives in India, sent the kids gifts too.  She’d spent last Christmas with us, and decided to send them Christmas pressies… so unexpected!! And so very special!! So anyhoo, she sent Erin the most gorgeous Barbie in Indian dress… the most gorgeous sari.

Isn’t she gorgeous?

Erin was so so funny, with the 2 dolls.  Within 5 minutes of them getting untangled from their boxes… she had them kissing!!!

… Much to the disgust of my boys…

LOL!! Carl, my brother, was at a complete loss for words!

I decided to take a few extra days leave, and I ended my year of corporate work yesterday.  Corporate work only, because I’ve got so much editing to finish before I can really relax… and in fact I’m hoping I do get to finish it before the next shoots start next year and I do get a break.

So my idea for my blog post was to show you photos from my day… but alas… that’s not to be.  I’m reviewing a Sony camera and after using it, I realised I didn’t get a cable to connect to the Mac… and I don’t have a SD card reader.  And now I’m just freaking annoyed.  I went and bought a SD card reader tonight while Christmas shopping, and the bloody thing doesn’t work… so no photos I’m afraid.

Anyhoo, what a busy busy day!

Took the dogs to Walkhaven, and Connor, like normal forgot to take shoes (and I only realised too late), so he spent most of the time waiting for us at the car because there were too many thorns and rocks on the ground.  I have SUCH problems getting him to wear shoes!! He’s only got one pair of flip flops again… heaven only knows what happened to the other 2 pairs… it’s not like he wears them!

Then we went home for a quick swim before heading off to the shops.  I only wanted to get boxes for my photography, because my stock is too low and my custom boxes are only arriving in Feb… but the shop seems to have closed for Xmas (I found a new packaging place that I wanted to try).

Then we dashed home again to have a spot of lunch before the kids’ friends arrived for the afternoon.

And while they played and swam and played again, I edited… and finished another shoot

And after supper, I went shopping again.  That’s right, I started my Xmas shopping at 7pm.  That’s how I roll every year.  Thankfully one of the shopping centres still opens that late!! I was so surprised when planning my shopping this year, that Sandton City’s idea of Christmas trading hours is until 7pm… and Cresta until 8pm! Madness! Anyway, Clearwater got all my business then.

So I’m done… all presents bought and just need to be wrapped… and tomorrow I can relax… and edit some more.  And try get the photos off this stupid SD card.  So far, I’m not enjoying this camera… not just the hassle getting the photos off, but I don’t really like the way it works (it’s almost their top of range DSLR, the A77)

Ooh I do have a photo… one from Walkhaven that I took with my iPhone using Path –  and that’s my new latest favourite app btw!!  How awesome is that grass… next time I go, I’m taking a proper camera.

I’ve got itchy feet.  Serious itchy feet.

I’ve already signed up for 2 photography workshops in January.  One is a boudoir workshop for one day by Yvette (Innovate Photo), and the other is an online 1 month long course on expanding my mind for lifestyle photography, run by a US photographer.  I’m thinking I need to be pushed again… I feel like I’m getting stale.

And now I saw this course… and oh wow I’m so tempted!

This five week online class complete with inspiring lessons, real life stories, secret missions, audio interviews and hands-on activities will help you take your dreams from the realm of wishing into everyday motion.

Something has to change… and I think this time I need help… just got to figure out how… maybe something like this course?

It’s actually all about pushing my boundaries and trying to be brave I think…

Connor has until now, been swimming with armbands and he’s swimming quite well.  Then he spent some time swimming at my parent’s house last week while I was at a photoshoot, and when I got home he very proudly told me that he swam without any armbands!!

He’s not quite comfy to do it at home yet, but yesterday afternoon the kids were swimming at my parent’s house when I went to pick them up, and Connor had to show off his newfound skill

I’m so proud of him… and he’s so very proud of himself…

Then he started practicing kicking…

Big excitement in the house tonight!! The boys have just received their personalised video from Father Christmas via the Portable North Pole site.

I must say that Connor was rather nervous that the naughty/nice machine’s light would be on red, because that apparently happened to a friend of theirs… and Santa is giving him  a piece of coal!!

Connor’s video is here

Bradley’s video is here

I love the magic of Christmas!

And now… I’m taking them to the Spur and then we’ll drive around the suburbs and find those 2 houses close to us that are covered in lights.

Not sure what the point of this blog post is going to be, just needed to jot a few things down about Christmas and the kids this year.

Firstly, let me explain the title… that my friends, is my favourite part of this Michael Buble song  .  I bought the album and the first time the kids heard it, Connor piped us “Mommy, he’s being really rude about Father Christmas”… now he shouts that part really loudly every time we hear the song

There’s nothing like music to get you into the Christmas mood… so this year I’m making a concerted effort to play Christmas music as much as possible.  I’ve even got my iPhone blaring music in the kitchen while I’m cooking (which reminds me, if you haven’t bought me a gift yet, a iPod/iPhone music system for my kitchen would be appreciated).  And I dance to the music and for the last 2 nights, the kids have come to join me, and we spend an hour in the kitchen cooking and dancing and singing it’s a little chaotic!

It’s all about making memories.

As far as gifts is concerned, I’m a little concerned. I haven’t done much shopping, and now all my ideas I had seem to be unavailable.  I’m a little stressed about it, considering the 7 shoots I have to edit as well in the evenings.

And then Bradley’s list is also concerning. He’s asked for a drum set or an electric guitar.  Seriously?! I chatted to him about this in the car the other day, because I think it’s a bad idea and I know Father Christmas won’t give gifts that are a bad idea.  Not because of the noise, but that kind of thing is fine if you’re learning to play the instrument, KWIM?  He’s not phased though, because apparently there’s some TV program on Disney XD that teaches him how to play the chords on an electric guitar.

I think I’m going to have to get hold of my cousin in Canada to find out the best way to start drumming.  My mom seems to remember that he learnt on an african drum.  I like that idea a little more… and get him drumming lessons for next year. Or he can go to guitar lessons at school… and then maybe revisit this idea for his birthday.

And it’s not like he’s got staying power when it comes to extra murals anyway… he didn’t stick to horse riding or karate for very long.

Oh well… we’ll just have to see what the big fat man with the long white beard pitches up with…

I had a rough night last night. Not drinking rough though… I edited the Branson images until 2am to get them ready for delivery (they had to be delivered before 8am and my MacBook was acting up and chugging)

So today after I got home from an early morning shoot, Lance insisted that I nap… While he went to work. He just didn’t get that I cannot do that!

Even though I didn’t drink last night I feel like I’ve got a hangover. I really feel quite rough.
So I ended up napping for an hour before taking the kids for a Wimpy lunch (where I’m typing this)

Sitting here reminded me of how I could express that guilty feeling. You know that advert on TV where the mom has passed out and the little boy makes his sister breakfast? That advert kills me every time I see it, and that feeling I get when I watch that advert is the same feeling I get when I take a nap during the day and I’m alone at home with the kids.

 

You need to watch this woman dance. Nicci… hope it’s something you haven’t seen yet, but my word you have to watch it.  I found it on Deb’s blog, and just have to share.

Most incredible pole dancing I’ve ever seen… you need to watch the bit where she’s literally walking… and where she’s parallel to the floor… just AMAZEBALLS!