I know… I haven’t posted in a few days… I promised I’ve thought about it.

Then I get open my blog, and can’t think of the topic that was on my mind the entire day!

I just can’t think straight at the moment.  So here are a couple of random thoughts for you from this week:

• Everytime I go shopping for Xmas pressies for everyone, I end up buying something I really need
• I saw the most divine handbags in Truworths in the Ginger Mary collection, and I actually resisted it! Wonders never cease… but only because I couldn’t decide on which colour to get!
• Bought the most gorgeous olive green dress last week that I’m going to wear tomorrow, with a bead necklace that my aunt, Kathy, made me (my mom came back from CT bearing gifts) and I promise I’ll take a photo of the necklace this week, Tanya, it’s quite something to behold!
• The kids are both sick with acute tonsillitis so we’ve had a wonderful weekend. In fact, the GP told Lance (he took the boys because I was a a shoot) that Connor needs his tonsils removed because he’s had tonsillitis 5 times this year.  Ho hum… so much for that stupid medical aid letter a few weeks ago advising me to reduce my cover!
• The house is driving me nuts, something breaks every week!
• This coming week is going to be very emotional for me… visiting 2 childrens homes and 1 squatter camp school and taking photos at all 3.
• My shootsac is on it’s way to me!! It’s arrived at my cousin’s house in the US, and she’s bringing it to SA when she comes to visit family for Xmas… then it’s just to somehow get it to JHB from CT!
• I still haven’t made a call about buying the lens though (the Canon 70-200mm f2.8)… it’s SO much money… but I do need it for the weddings next year.  It will get here the same way, so I’d better make that call in the next day or so!
• I missed a shoot at an airbase yesterday because I stupidly got my dates mixed up! I could shoot myself actually!! But apparently they’re going to organise another one there, because there was too much to take in for one session.
• We still haven’t got a dog, we’re lazy that way
• The Christmas tree is up… but Father Christmas didn’t listen to the angel and take the letter out of the fireplace last night… Ooops… so Bradley was a little upset this morning.
• My word, you should see their wishlists though… and that reminds me, I need to do a wishlist of my own.

PS!  Does anyone know of anyone who knows how to use a sewing machine and overlocker and would be willing to teach the carers at a childrens home in Kelvin Johannesburg how to use the machines they got given?  Please let me know using comments or via Twitter or Facebook!

I’ve heard the most terrible heartwrenching stories in the last week, and I haven’t had a chance to blog about them yet.  This morning’s story was a little closer to home though, and it made me realise how many people rely on me, or rather us, to bring in a income to our household.

If you live in South Africa, take a moment to think about how many people your salary supports.  I don’t think this exercise can be done as easily in non-African countries as you don’t have people working in your house generally.

Right, here’s our list…

• Me, Lance and our 2 kids… that is what you normally think about and that’s normal.

But in our case, as with most South Africans, that’s not actually true.  Our list also includes:

• Lance’s mom – we pay rent for her and give her spending money because she’s on a govt pension
• The gardener – he lives alone but I’m not sure how many people his salary supports
• Our domestic worker, Beauty and her extended family – and this is where the list grows long.  Beauty and I often have chats in the morning before I leave for work so I know a lot about her family and home life.  On her salary she is supporting her husband (he lost his job in 2008), a 20 year old son who finished matric last year and hasn’t been able to find work (until now… he’s actually just got a contract job until Feb), and a 16year old son at school.  And then on top of this her eldest son has made his 18 year old girlfriend pregnant and her story is below.

So in total, our income supports 11 people that we know about.  Quite scary, isn’t it?!

Anyway, that’s my preamble… a long one I know… but here’s the important story and the one that threw me this morning.

Beauty’s son met this girl while they were at school together, and she’s now pregnant.  That’s actually the easy bit to the story.  Beauty was highly upset about what he’d done, but there’s very little she can do about it, except give support and help.  A (have no idea what her name is) is in matric this year and the baby is due in February.

She updated me on the saga this morning.  Apparently A’s mom kicked her out of the house 3 months ago because A refused to have an abortion, and A has been living in a shelter in Hillbrow since then (Beauty doesn’t have the space in her house)! Imagine kicking your daughter out of home, knowing that she’s in matric!

Beauty has been feeding her on my leftovers since then, and has been clothing her with all my old clothes that I give Beauty to sell for extra money.  Sometimes Beauty doesn’t go home with leftovers because we’re not exactly rolling in dough atm and I’m trying to be careful with overspending. And on those days, A doesn’t eat or only eats the one meal of soup and mielie rice she  gets from the shelter.  She was living in her school uniform until I chucked out some clothes (not knowing that this was happening).  And she only got a pillow when I replaced my pillows a few weeks ago.

A, however, has actually studied during this time, and amazingly finished ALL her exams! Isn’t that incredible? Not sure whether I’d have been able to do that.

How can you, as a mother, abandon your child like that? It’s beyond me.  It doesn’t matter to me how cross she may have made you, but to know that your child is not getting food to feed your grandchild and is living in a dangerous shelter and do NOTHING about it, is completely beyond my comprehension.

Do you remember the Childrens home that we threw a Christmas party for a few years ago?  The stories written at the time, about meeting the kids and the resulting party are here, here, here and here:

Here’s an update on the St Janes de Chantal Haven and how the kids are doing.

Remember Arthur?  He’s been adopted and is apparently very happy in his new home.

And Kia and her bad skin which we thought was excema?  It was actually shingles, and apparently eventually they couldn’t even put clothes on her little body because it got so sore.  She was 2 years old at the time this photo was taken.

Hannah has lost 5 of the children that were at the home 2 years ago.

At the moment, there are 25 children at the haven, and a few of them are in hospital receiving treatment.  Not all the children she gets have HIV, some of them come from abused homes, and most of them need medical treatment.  She’s still getting children from Child Welfare, but more and more of them are being dropped off at the gate to the home.

A month ago, 5 armed men climbed over the walls of the haven and held her and the children up, demanding money.  Apparently, she just told them that she didn’t have money, and they should all look very carefully at the children because one of them might in fact be one of their own!  She eventually had them changing nappies and feeding the babies J She’s one amazing woman!

She told the story of the one baby she’s got in her care at the moment, and this is heartbreaking…

She got the baby girl a few weeks ago when the baby was 2 weeks old.  The mother had left the baby on the floor of her shack while she went off drinking.  When she returned, or when someone came to answer the screams (no sure which one), a rat was eating the baby’s face.  By the time the baby got rescued, the nose had been chewed off as well as part of the cheek, and the baby is currently being prepared for her second round of plastic surgery.

I can’t actually get that out of my head… that poor poor baby my heart breaks for her.  Never mind the anger I feel towards any mother that can just leave their 2 week old on the floor to go drinking?!!

Leanne, who went to visit the home over the weekend, said that the kids are happy as usual and the carers only too grateful for an extra set of hands to help with bottle feeding and nappy changing and story reading.  And as you can imagine, they need a constant supply of nappies and formula for the babies and food, clothes, and school supplies for the older kids in her care.
I’m going to try and get there in the next few weeks, so if you have anything you want to donate, let me know.

… and it’s time to think about those less fortunate than yourselves

Laura is putting together a Christmas party for a children’s home and she’s looking for people to donate R100 per child for gifts.  Please help out if you can.  She’s still looking for 10 gifts for kids.  The details are HERE

If you want to get more involved, the party is now going to be on the 12th of December… and I’m doing the photography

Today was rough, because there was so much sad news around… but it made me marvel at the strength of women!

A colleague was diagnosed with hodgkins lymphoma yesterday, and went for a biopsy this morning.  She was amazing yesterday after she heard the news.  I probably would have been a wreck and gone home… but she carried on working as if nothing had happened.

Another colleague went to the hospital to be with her when she came out of the biopsy… to help her deal with all of it… and the reason… she is a leukemia survivor (she had it 14 years ago when her son was 7 years old).  She was telling me this afternoon about her mood swings and her feelings towards everyone including her son while she was in hospital for 6 months having treatments.  She was also saying about how her dreams and ambitions became so much clearer when she got ill, and that she still hasn’t finished what she’d planned… she lives every day to it’s full, and she has never forgotten those feelings she had when she was so ill.

Then, yet another colleague’s sister was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She has a 3 month old baby, and she’s having a mastectomy tomorrow.

So, I’m thinking… I think it’s time I put my photo plan into action.  The one I spoke about a few months ago.

My colleagues greatest fear is what she’ll look like without hair.  I’m thinking of asking her tomorrow if I can do portraits for her and her family… or do you think it’s a bad idea?  I’m not how I’d feel if someone offered that to me.

I’m also thinking of doing the same for my other colleague too.    This time, like the Think Pink Organisation does for Breast Cancer patients and survivors in the US. In fact, maybe it’s time I got hold of that friend of mine who was telling me about a local organisation that does makeovers for breast cancer patients to find out more about it.

I’m just rambling on now, but I feel helpless and like I need to do something for them.

I’ve followed Wenchy’s blog for about 18 months now.  She’s one very amazing single mom who lives in SA, she has a heart of gold and the most amazing family.  However, her son Liam, needs my and your help.

So, another amazing blogger decided to do something about it, and has called it “Lent for Liam”.  The premise is that Lent means giving something up… and R100 was set as the amount to give up.  Now seriously all you peeps out there, R100 is really tiny in the grander scheme of things.

What does R100 buy you?    Think of it as giving up on a R100 luxury something that you normally buy, but don’t really need – like 2 boxes of good chocolates or half a new bra or half a pair of jeans or a new t-shirt.

This is what your R100 will help with…

Liam has ADHD, suffers from extreme anxiety, panic attacks and is on medication for depression, concentration an anti-psychotic as he has bouts of hallucinations. A learning disability has also been diagnosed.

He is currently in a main stream environment where he is not coping and required remedial assistance on a weekly basis (as that is all I can provide at the moment), there is a professional who acts as Liam’s “scribe” since he cannot articulate the information he knows into writing, an education psychologist meets with Liam weekly and he attend a psychiatric hospital monthy to oversee his medication…. all which I struggle to provide with limited resources.

I’m petrified for Liam going to High School because there is no way he would remotely cope emotionally, academically or socially. Remedial care has been suggested by more than one professional caring for Liam.

I found a government school which will be able to help with Liam’s needs… I’m getting all the (many) forms filled in, doctors recommendations etc to make application to the school, although I’ve been told there is a long waiting list… and private education is just totally over anything I could ever manage on my own… so I am making application and hoping they will accept him.

I really have no words. Thank you isn’t enough.

Liam’s Mom.

So now that you know the story, this is how you can get involved…

1.  Join the Facebook group.

2.  Pledge some moolla – the banking details are on Facebook, and if you don’t have Facebook, and would like to contribute, leave a comment and I’ll send you the details.  Some people are giving R100 once off, others are giving R100 per month for 12 months.

3. Blog about it or spread the word on Twitter and Facebook etc

4.  Link to Lent for Liam on Twitter

And that’s it! I’m positive that Wenchy will be able to get Liam the education he needs

Leanne, Annamarie and I went to the Children’s home again today to play with the kids.

It was a good visit.  All the children are looking healthy again.  We got there during their nap-time so we disturbed the household, but a few of the kids were awake so we were able to play with them a bit. 

Arthur (or Bongani) is such a bubbly little boy. Leanne has really got a soft spot for him, so she really enjoyed playing with him today. He just loves being tickled and has the most infectious laugh. (He’s the one I wrote about before who has cerebral palsy)

Steven’s photo is on the right, I absolutely love his eyes, and cannot resist taking photos of him. We were all so relieved to see him looking healthier. The last time we were there, he had the most terrible cough and what looked like bad excema on his face (probably a reaction to the ARV’s). 

The older children arrived home from school while we were there, so we spent some time talking to all of them too.  It’s a pity we had to go back to work actually. They’re just craving attention, so we’ve promised to go back soon to read them all stories (they all came with their own book and asked us to read them).

One of the reasons we went was to get the sizes of all the cots.  I really want to organise new cot mattresses for all of them… the ones they’ve got are absolutely disgusting.  But Hannah also mentioned that they actually need 2 more cots because 2 of the kids are still sleeping in cribs and they are too big for them actually.  I’m determined to try and get mattresses now.  I’m going to ask the moms on the local forum if anyone has old ones to donate, and I was hoping to collect some money from colleagues to get some too.  I’ll just have to make some kind of plan with this one.

Today was the day… we held a Christmas party at the Haven this morning (I first wrote about Hannah’s home here).

Twelve of us arrived at the home in a bus (hired by the company), and it was filled with toys, clothes, food and other gifts for the children and their carers. Everything was donated by the staff. One of my colleagues dressed up as Santa and handed out gifts, while the rest of us played with the kids.

The childrens faces when they saw Father Christmas was just beautiful to see. It was also great to see how excited the older kids got when they realised the clothes in the parcels were brand new - with labels still on them. Once all the presents were opened the kids started putting their new clothes on. Mercy ended up with a little sundress on and socks, and was about to put on her new panties when the one carer stopped her.
The little kids didn’t really understand what was happening, but enjoyed the attention and the unwrapping of the gifts. Some of the little ones were too afraid and wary to come close to us, it was all just too much for them as they’re still a bit traumatised.

The response from the carers were amazing too. We gave them each a small bonus with some of the money we’d collected. They were thrilled to receive their envelopes, and once they’d opened them and realised what was inside; they all came back inside together and got down on their knees to thank us. It was very humbling. Those ladies do an awesome job just for a safe place to stay and food (they don’t get paid).

Rose (10) started writing in her new secret diary as soon as she opened the gifts.

Leanne playing with Arthur. He’s the cutest little boy with such a gorgeous laugh.

Monalisa’s smile. It was amazing to see her smile and laugh today. She is the little one I wrote about 2 weeks ago.

Tumelo (or Jiminy Cricket as he’s also known as) was clinging onto his new toy.

I have to end this by quoting from the thank-you letter that Hannah wrote us…

If we can prevent one abused, molested and abandoned child from being cheated out of their childhood our lives shall not be in vain.

So, now we wait.

I went toy shopping today, and all the toys are in the boot in packets.  The kids are asleep… so why are we waiting? 

You should see the storm outside!  It’s set off our outside beams for the first time. Hopefully the rain will stop soon, and we can go and get them and put them away.   Hopefully we remember to bring them inside before we go to sleep. LOL!

As for Hannah’s home… I finally got word today that the company is definitely going to throw a Xmas party for the home (it got approved by the powers that be).  YAY!  Marketing is even getting involved and it’s going to be big… hopefully.  I hope we’ll be able to get them a lot of what they need. 

One thing I really want to organise them, is new mattresses for the cots.  Hannah added them to the list when we saw her last week, and I took a peek at one -it was absolutely finished.  Those kids cannot be comfortable.  They might as well be sleeping without them . 

Anyhoo, I live in hope.

Leanne and I went to the haven again yesterday to get another list from Hannah.  This time she was there, and we sat with her to finish the list.

While we were there some of the older kids came back from school (I assume nursery school by the size of them).  They all looked so happy and bouncy.  And they brought a friend home with them.  This little boy used to live at the haven, and was adopted, but Hannah said that he tries his utmost to go visit Mama Hannah in the afternoons.  That means that the kids are obviously happy there, if they want to go back even after being adopted.

As for the babies… they were all sitting in bumbo seats in the one room and eating lunch (home-made pureed butternut and the older kids had a rice based meal).  They were all smiling and laughing.  Monalisa was with them, and even Kiya was sitting up properly in a bumbo seat! 

Note, that I’ve changed the spelling of the kids names, after getting the lists from Hannah.

I asked Hannah about Monalisa.  She just said that developmentally she's starting to reach some milestones (she is 2 years old).  She is sitting properly now, and is starting to crawl.  As for everything else, they take it a day at a time.
I suppose they have to take things a day at a time.  Hannah was also telling about Prince (he’s 7).  Prince has also got HIV and he’s been losing weight for 3 weeks and the doctors are now worried about him.  Apart from that he’s quiet healthy looking, but apparently, his viral count is now very bad, and at one stage the doctors told her that she must be prepared for him to die at any time – even if he’s busy playing he can just collapse suddenly.  
This disease is extremely scary!