You know how it goes… photographers never have photos of themselves. Well, the same is true for me

The only reason I took this photo of us this evening is because Connor’s theme at school this week is “Me and my family” and I had to do something about it.  So out came the camera and I rested it on a chair (I don’t actually have a tripod) and set the timer

So now… there we all are… I think for the first time on this blog

And Connor has his photo for school  Mission accomplished!!

Ooh and btw, it’s our 15th wedding anniversary this week!!

We had an early Christmas present opening session last night at my parent’s house, with my brother and his family.  They weren’t going to be with us on Christmas day, so we had a Christmas Eve celebration too… and the kids opened a few of their presents.

Erin had asked Father Christmas for a Ken doll, and we heard about this and knew that Santa wasn’t bringing her one, so that was one of the gifts that we bought her.

And then, Pavya, and ex-colleague of mine, who lives in India, sent the kids gifts too.  She’d spent last Christmas with us, and decided to send them Christmas pressies… so unexpected!! And so very special!! So anyhoo, she sent Erin the most gorgeous Barbie in Indian dress… the most gorgeous sari.

Isn’t she gorgeous?

Erin was so so funny, with the 2 dolls.  Within 5 minutes of them getting untangled from their boxes… she had them kissing!!!

… Much to the disgust of my boys…

LOL!! Carl, my brother, was at a complete loss for words!

If you’ve been following my photoblog you would know that I went to Cape Town over the weekend with my mom. It was actually the first time the 2 of us have travelled anywhere on our own… just the two of us… so it was very special… especially because she likes photos and wine as much as I do!

The trip was planned for me to take photos of my aunt, who is fighting breast cancer (photos are on my other blog).  And other than that the weekend was ALL about family visits and relaxing.

Here’s a rundown of my weekend…

1.  Kulula was again late.  Surprise.  Surprise.  Both ways.  Don’t understand why I book flights on that airline.  And in fact, after having to get another car at Avis after the first car’s front seat was jammed, and having to find my mom’s drivers license because I’d stupidly left mine at home;  we only got to Ian and Kathy’s house on Friday night at 11:30pm!  Oh and the photo on the blog post… that’s the view from their house…

2.  On Saturday morning, my mom and I drove to Hermanus (roadtrip photo on the left) to see my other aunt and uncle.  It was quite strange visiting Hermanus without my grandmother being there.  My aunt made the most incredible lunch… and I stupidly didn’t take a photo of the plate.  She made chicken breasts stuffed with bacon and sage and rolled in bacon.  The chicken was cut into discs and place on a bed of homegrown lettuce with homemade garlic mayonnaise (the family recipe I use at Christmas time) and homemade crostinis. It was delish!! Felt so very spoilt having such an amazing meal at lunchtime.

3. On Saturday afternoon, we drove to the mountains in the Stellenbosch region to the Da Capo Wine estate to take Kathy’s photos.  We met up with my mom’s family and had an extreme picnic in the freezing wet weather… and that’s quite a story so it deserves a blog post on it’s own  But we did have some magnificent wine and cheeses so the weather was somewhat ignored.

4.  Then we crashed… had an early night to recover from the previous 2 days

5.  On Sunday morning, Kathy booked a table at Tokara for breakfast, and that also deserves it’s own blog post, because it was a gorgeous meal!

6.  Then we ambled back down the mountains and up another hill to stop at Uva Mira for a spot of wine tasting and wine buying (this will be in another blog post too), and a few more images before we went to visit my gran in the home in Somerset West.

7.  And then I took some scar photos (if you haven’t seen them yet, please go and look, my aunt is so very brave and just incredible), before heading back home.

The only thing I didn’t get to do, was have a tweetup but that was my own stupid fault because I didn’t have my drivers license on me (and we got stopped in a roadblock on the first evening and I didn’t feel like taking a chance).

I did have LOADS of wine, and LOADS of good food, and LOADS of awesome family time it was perfect.

I’ve been mulling over this topic for a while, but haven’t managed to get around to blogging about it.

When you get a form that asks how many dependants you have, you’re generally expected to fill in the number of children you have… not right?

Well, I don’t think that’s entirely accurate.

Just think about it, it’s not just your kids that are reliant on your income for survival, is it? Well, it’s definitely not in our case.

To start, our income has to pay for our living expenses including housing and food for ourselves and our children.  So that’s 4 people.  And that’s all we normally think about when we calculate things.  But there’s a load missing from this equation.

We have a full-time domestic working in our house, and she’s the breadwinner in her family (well apart from her one son that now shares the rent with her) and she has 5 dependants… one useless husband who hasn’t worked in 7 years, 2 sons (one of which is now working and the other one is still at school) and one grandson.  In addition, I know that some months she sometimes has to give money to her grandson’s mother who often ends up in shelters because of her circumstances.  So that’s another 6 that we provide for.

Then there’s our gardener who only works for us on Saturdays, so the money we pay him isn’t his sole income, and I know he lives on his own, yet I also know that he sends money home to support family there.

Then there’s Lance’s mom who we also support.

So, our household income actually has to provide for 12 people on a good month.

That’s a lot! But I also know that that’s not unusual, and it’s also not something that we normally think about.

Have you ever worked it out for your household?  How many people do you support directly without monthly donations etc?  I’m assuming that this is a South African phenomenon, primarily because the average home in the ‘burbs has some kind of full-time or part-time home helper or domestic worker or gardeners in our employ.  But it would be interesting to hear from non-Saffers in the comments

When I saw this video on Deb‘s blog, I just started crying.

Someone very close to me has just started her chemo treatment for breast cancer, and this just hit home.  Thinking of her so very much at the moment, and really praying that last sentence in the song “Just make it go away” and knowing that it will because she’s such a beautiful woman with a beautiful family and it just has to go away.

It was a big weekend actually.  You knew about Bradley’s party, and you knew that my parent’s dog was coming to stay but you don’t know:

1.  My granny died on Saturday morning.  My dad phoned me just after 9am to tell me the news.  Granny Marie was the granny I visited in Hermanus a few weeks ago.  The one who was fine until a few weeks ago.  The one who told me that she was tired.  Oh my word, I loved her a lot.  In a few days I’ll write a proper post about her like I wrote about my grandpa when he died, but I’m not ready yet.

2.  Bradley and Connor are playing XBox LEGO Star Wars every moment they can, and it’s already driving me dilly.  It’s only taken 4 days for me to completely lose it with them.

3.   The dog situation worked ok… until yesterday when Jackie tried to play with a old hoof in the garden.  She let it go, and Kimo grabbed it.  She then just attacked him, which he didn’t take kindly to… so he then just went for her… and eventually had her by the neck.  Thankfully he listened to Lance and no physical harm was done.  But we had to seperate her from the huskies for the night… and she went home today.  I just couldn’t take the risk of leaving her outside with the huskies.  She was just looking for trouble all the time with Kimo, and he warned her enough times.  Anyhow, it’s a pity because she’s stopped a lot of her anxious licking while she was here, and the raw wound on her leg was actually healing for the first time in months (I think it was because they kept her very busy).

4.  Lance and the boys took me out for supper last night to Mo-zam-bik… I LOVED the prawns in beer sauce… no-one else really enjoyed their food… but anyhoo.  They did give me a gorgeous bracelet though… which I thought was a nice touch for Mothers Day.

5.  Bradley made me a simple bead necklace (with green and white beads) at school for Mother’s Day.  I wore the necklace last night to supper.  He loved that I wore it.  Connor however, was very jealous of it, and wanted to grab it off my neck.

I’m getting a little tired of all the jealousy in the house actually.  If I sit in the lounge and the dogs are around, Kimo tries to get as close to me as he can… until Kitara jumps onto my lap.  If I get close to Lance, Connor appears and wants to be cuddled.  If I sit next to Lance on the couch, Connor wedges himself between us.  If I sit with Bradley, the same thing happens.  If I sit with Connor, the dogs jump all over us. And having Jackie in the house made it a thousand times worse!

Anyhoo, back to work, these images aren’t going to edit themselves!

If you’ve been reading my Facebook, Twitter and other statuses and my photoblog you would have known that I’ve been in the Cape for the last few days.  One of the main reasons we went was to visit my grannies who are both in Frail Care facilities (in Somerset West and Hermanus).

Well, actually, that’s not quite true.  I didn’t actually want to visit my granny in Somerset West.  But I did end up going to see her, and I’m very glad that I did.

You may think that’s strange… that I wouldn’t want to visit her.  But, you see, the last time I saw her, she had no idea who I was.  At the time she was still mobile and could talk… and had no idea who I was, and wouldn’t even look at me.  And this year, Granny Sylvia took a turn for the worse, and just after New Year everyone thought she would die.  In fact, she was taken off all medication… for her heart etc.  Yet, she recovered… to some extent.

Anyhoo, I visited her on Monday morning.  Thankfully my mom showed me a video that she took when she visited her earlier on this year.  I wasn’t shocked when I saw her at all.  I was prepared for what she looks like. The biggest surprise though, was that I think she knew I was there.

Not that she can talk at all.  My mom says the sounds she makes sounds like a bird.  I don’t think so.  I think it sounds like she’s on a ventilator.  But she looked at me as if she knew me… and she opened her mouth like she was smiling.  And anyway, even if she didn’t… the fact that I think that, is enough for me.  I’m glad I went.  And I’m also glad that I saw her sitting in an armchair… even though I know she can’t move.  It’s more dignified that lying down all the time.   It was a very short visit in the end… less than 10 minutes, because she fell asleep while she was watching me.

This is not how I’ll remember her though.  I’ll always remember her walking around my mom’s garden singing.  And walking around the house singing.  And laughing at Christmas parties while doing party tricks because she was always so supple with all the yoga she used to do.  The way that she is living now… is not living.  It’s not her anymore.  She’s just a shell.  And it’s so hard to accept.

As for my other granny… we took the boys to visit her in Hermanus on Monday afternoon.  She loved seeing the kids, although they weren’t enamoured by the place… so I went on my own on Tuesday morning for a longer visit.  She’s changed a lot as well… and in her case, I didn’t realise how frail she’d got.  Yes, my dad had kept me up to date with her progress, but being there just hit home how much she’s lost her independance.  She’s still fighting though… I just hope she fights a whole load more!

She’s hurt her knee again, and is now not able to walk at all.  So on Tuesday, Aunt Cheryl and I had to lift her to help her get to the phone to speak to my dad.

I really really hope that she does fight it… and she stays determined to make her knee work again even though it’s so sore for her exercise.  Because I couldn’t bear her losing all her physical  independance.  It’s bad enough that her mind is confused at the moment (she’s getting dementia).  At one point she pointed at a photo of her and Grandpa hanging on the wall, and asked Aunt Cheryl who the lady was… she’d been wondering about it for a few days.

One of the things that she complained about a lot while I was there, was the food.  She moans that they feed her a lot… but it’s not tasty.  Now my Granny was an amazing cook.  I LOVED going to lunch at her house.  I loved the simple lunches she made for my grandfather, that we ate when we stayed with her for the day… and I loved the big family spreads she cooked when we went for family lunches.  It’s really sad that she can’t cook or bake anymore.

It’s so hard watching these 2 woman who have always been so very strong, and always so independent, live like this.  It’s not fair.  Yet, I know that it’s inevitable… this happens to most people as they get old.  It’s just so hard to accept.

We welcomed 2011 in our traditional style today… we went to my parents for lunch.. we do that every year.  I don’t normally post photos on this blog, however, I did a shoot today as well, so I need to give that family’s blog post some space on my photoblog instead.

My mom has wanted a family photo with everyone for simply ages, and with all our schedules it’s been impossible to get right.  And today it didn’t seem possible either because of the incessant rains… but when I got back after my shoot, the weather cleared for a few minutes and we managed to snap a few photos.

We will be doing a proper family shoot with everyone soon… I’m just going to need a willing soul who’ll actually take the whole family photo for us on that day

I get asked often what is so different about Christmas in South Africa… especially related to the fact that there’s no snow… and it’s hot hot hot.

Well, just before I hit the sack, I’ve thought of one very big difference.

The sun rises very early because it’s summer, and it’s light from about 4:30am.  I would love to tell Bradley not to wake us up before the sun rises… but that’s an insane thing to do.  So he has to watch the time tomorrow, and he’s only allowed to wake us up at 5:30am.

I know it’s going to be a stretch for him, because he’s so so ultra excited about tonight… but seriously before that is just cruelty to parents.

It’s now 10:50pm. The milk has been drunk, the cookies eaten, the carrots munched…. Santa has arrived… we better get to bed!

So, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Tweeters are just awesome… seriously… they are.

A few days ago I was getting frustrated because I wanted to send my grandmother a gift.  She lives in an old age home in Hermanus.  I went to my usual haunts… Woolies, Pick n Pay and NetFlorist.  Neither PicknPay nor Woolies deliver to Hermanus.  And Netflorist’s range… well… nothing caught my eye, because I wanted a simple gift.

So I tweeted about the fact that Woolies and PicknPay didn’t deliver there.

A few minutes later, there was a reply in my stream from Tertia.  She was going to be going to Hermanus the next day, and she wouldn’t mind delivering something to my gran.

How cool?! How totally awesome is that?!

So yesterday, Tertia dropped off some flowers, biscuits and chocolates at the home. She’s too awesome, isn’t she?!!

I phoned my gran last night to make sure she got them.  Tertia had said that my gran was in the shower and she’d given the gift to her neighbour.  My gran was so confused.  She said that because there was no card on it, they weren’t too sure who the gift was for.  Also, once her neighbour described the person who delivered, my gran became convinved that it was me.

She sounded quite disappointed when I told her that I was in Jo’burg still

I really need to make a plan to visit.

And how cool is Tertia?!