OK, I’m a little behind with my bucket list project but today I accomplished another thing on the list…

I jumped off a building.

And I managed to get almost my entire family to come along with me, and we made it a bonding exercise! LOL!

We went to the Orlando Towers in Soweto and my mom, Elaine and myself did the power swing and Bryan did the bungee jump… while Lance and my dad watched the kids and took photos from the ground.

I have a few things about today that I just have to put down… and this blog is the best place I can think of doing that… considering this bucket list item was actually all about fear and the unknown and trust… let me talk about just that…

- Elaine is generally scared of heights… and I’m so pleased she did it in the end And she looked a lot braver than I felt I looked just before she jumped!

- It’s freaking high up…. 100m into the air.

- The only thing that really worried me up there, were the cables.  In the photo of me just getting off the ledge, you can see the 3 cables that connect to the towers… I was convinced I would swing into them!!

- I would have prefered to go first just so I didn’t have to wait so long, but I love that my mom did… and she seemed to thoroughly enjoy it

- It’s a pity I wasn’t able to take a camera up there.  The view was incredible.  Absolutely amazing!!

- I think one of the reasons I was so frightened, no, I know, was trust.  I wasn’t sure that I could trust the cable, even though they told you so many times about the checks etc… and I’d watched my mom and sister do it… it was scary to trust it.

- That free fall of 40m before the cable took the strain and swung me out… took my breath away completely. I only screamed when I started relaxing when the swing started.

-The R100 extra charged for the photos was well well worth the money.  I’m so glad I have close-up proof of how inelegant I look jumping off something!!

- While I was waiting for the swing to come up again, I sat down, and I must’ve looked scared shitless, because the one dude came and sat next to me and asked me what I was thinking.  I didn’t tell him.  I was actually visualising myself swinging… yip… I do that.  I get through things by visualising them.  In fact, I was at that moment, visualising getting over the railing and swinging… not from the platform. In my mind I’d done it… and that’s why I didn’t chicken out in the end.

- It felt really surreal up there.  I kept looking ar0und to drink it all in… and willing myself to remember all the details.  Without a camera on me, I felt naked and had just my memory to remember.

- I’m glad the boys were there to see me do it.  Bradley very proudly told Ouma on the phone this evening that I jumped off a building in Soweto. She must’ve had a heart attack… more because we were in Soweto though and I can’t think that she believed the rest!! LOL!

I’ve put all the images onto my photo blog, so hop on over there to see…

The only thing I regret about the day, was that the restaurants in Vilakazi street were all closed because of the public holiday… I would have liked to have lived out the rest of the planned day, and taken my family around Soweto… I just loved that part of the city Instead we went to my parent’s house for pizza and a swim.

It was an amazing day, and one that we’ll never forget.

Bradley did not have a good weekend.  First we had the dog attack on Friday, then he spent ages on Saturday mulling over attack (based on the number of questions I got asked about it) and then yesterday was the cherry on top.

We took the dogs for a walk in the park.  It’s a dog friendly park where most of the dogs are off-lead.  In general, the dogs are always relatively well behaved but they are all curious and go up to other dogs all the time to play.  My dogs went absolutely wild yesterday and didn’t listen at all… so much so, that one of the other dog walkers kicked Kitara to get her away from her dog.  Hmph! Apparently her dog has social issues… hmph wonder how she feels knowing that she kicked a dog of someone she actually knows and has to face at work today… but anyhoo!

So I was getting the leads back on the dogs after the incident, and I hear Bradley scream. A little overweight sausage dog (whose owner called stupid afterwards) ran up to Bradley who was running after me, and nipped him on the ankle!!

Oy!!

It wasn’t a good dog weekend for us.

Then we get home, and within an hour he has a raging fever!! His fever hit 38.5 very quickly… but thankfully we managed to get it under control.  So it’s back to the doctor today with a very sad boy, who wanted to go to school today to tell his teacher about his dog weekend.

OMW!! Just had the fright of our lives. The kids are completely shaken and so are the dogs.

I took the dogs for a walk around the neighbourhood this evening with the kids. We went for quite a long walk, and as we got to our neighbours house, I noticed that one of their 3 rottweilers were outside the gate.

He was standing right at the gate and looked quite scared. So I held the dogs back, and asked Bradley to walk very slowly and press their gate bell to try and get them to let the dog inside.

When he got back to me, I held the dogs tight on the other side of me and we went very close to the road to get past her.

I should have taken both kids and dogs across the road at that time, but the traffic was quite hectic. I blame myself completely for what happened next.

As we walked past him, he just let rip. He ran at the dogs and got hold of Kitara by the throat and wrestled her to the ground.  She was literally being shaken around like a ragdoll.

The kids started screaming and hugging each other and pulling on my shirt.

I let go of her so I could get the kids. Kimo then jumped on top of the rottweiller and grabbed his neck and Kitara managed to get away and she ran into the road. Thank God there weren’t any cars. I pulled Kimo away, and dragged him and the kids into the road to get her, and we went to the other side of the road.

My neighbour then opened the gate and another one of the rottweilers then came out. Hectic!! But thankfully both of them stayed on the driveway. My kids were now hysterical, and the dogs shaking.

Once the neighbours let the dogs inside, Lance arrived home and I took the kids and dogs home.

Both kids took quite a while to calm down. Connor eventually told me that he thought he was going to get attacked (

Kitara is fine. The dog’s teeth didn’t even pierce her skin amazingly.

Kimo is fine but very shaken. My hero ) I was very proud of him for protecting us.

I really think though, that the dog was scared and was just trying to defend his territory. I should have known better than to try and get the dog inside his property.

I hope that the kids don’t have nightmares tonight

Just have to add that thinking about it now, my neighbours are chicken! The dude across the road actually went into his garden and watched the commotion from behind his fence. And an awesome black dude that was running on the road ran back down the road to try and help me when we got to the other side of the road!! Thanks to that mystery man for asking me whether we were ok!
No thanks go to my neighbours!

I’m going now to crack open a bottle of wine!

… I wish I did photography full time.  I got asked this morning, by a client, when I’m going to take the plunge… and the truth is I’m not ready.  It’s a scary thought, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to earn enough from it… I also think I would have to consult to top up my income.  And I don’t think I’m ready to consult until this project I’m working on is complete.  And then I’m hoping I’m not too old.

Don’t knock me for the age thing… it’s a serious worry of mine… there’s an age thing in my head about funky women photographers and I wonder how sustainable photography would be for me.

Then I got home from the shoot  this morning (which was postponed in the end anyway), and on the way I got an offer for a wedding in the middle of the week, which I had to turn down.  I had to turn down another offer for today from a corporate because I actually need to spend at least 2 hours a weekend with my kids… and I completed an invoice for a company whose function I’m doing in September only because it happens after working hours.

There’s just so much business I’m starting to turn away during the week, because it’s just not possible.  And in fact, I’m even turning away weekend work now because I need some family time too.

I hate turning things down… but I’m still not ready… not yet.  I wonder if I’m ever going to be ready.

I took the dogs for walks this weekend… Lance was too lazy and watched sport instead

Yesterday we went to a park close to the house, that’s known as a dog walking park. It’s really overgrown with long veld (grass) and overgrown jungle gyms at the moment (they do cut the grass randomly). And it was a perfect spot for them.
They were a little hesitant at first, and the first time they walked through the long veld they both sneezed (was too cute), but they loved it. We (me and the boys and the dogs) had the place to ourselves apart from one other mom teaching her kids how to ride their bikes. So it was perfect.

Today however was a different matter entirely. Bradley and I (Connor was napping) took the dogs for a walk around the block. It was such a different experience. They were petrified! They both froze everytime we walked past a house with a barking dog, and once or twice Kitara actually started running in the opposite direction. In fact, I had to carry them past 2 houses!! And they’re HEAVY now!!!
Anyhoo, after we got past most of the big dogs, they started enjoying it and we were actually running with them

But now, Lance reckons she’s traumatised… she’s wimpering in her sleep. Poor mutt
I told him he has to take them for a walk every day now… and to start… this week it has to be the park.

That’s right… you read that right… after 37 years of existance I can positively attest to have been stuck in a lift (or elevator for my US readers).

And let me tell you, it was not a pleasant experience!

It happened about half an hour ago, and the cappucino that I’m busy drinking has managed to stop my shaking… and the fact that I’ve blasted someone at facilities (and they’re going to fix it apparently, and I spoke to the person in charge of the people who are supposed to respond to the lift bell and they’re going to sort that out too).

So now that I’m calmer, this is what happened…

I parked in the bowels of the earth, so I took a lift in a parking garage to get to the ground floor.

The lift had started moving from -2 to the Ground floor, when the lights went out and the lift stopped.

That’s right… THE LIGHTS WENT OUT!!  I was alone in the lift.  Used the light from my cell phone to find the emergency button.  Rang the bell… no answer.  Then the lift started dropping, it wasn’t fast though so I was still calm.

Then I tried to use my cell, but there’s no reception.  So I tried to tweet, but not even enough reception for that.

I’m really not sure how long I was in there in the dark… ringing the bell endlessly with no response, but couldn’t have been for longer than 10 minutes.

Suddenly the lights come on, but still the buttons wouldn’t work.  Then the lift dropped again.  Then finally the lift started working again, and I was on -3 but the door wouldn’t open… and then it let me press G again, and went to where I was supposed to go.

I think I need wine actually! This coffee isn’t really doing much.

It’s been a rough week.  I’ve heard terrible things, and spoken to friends and hugged friends both virtually and in real life…. there are terrible and sad things going on in my world.

Let me give you a run down of just today’s conversations… and yesterday and the day before was no better

• Someone’s mom died
• A blogger/tweeter’s mom is seriously ill
• A friend went for surgery to remove a cancerous tumour and I’m following her progress on Facebook
• Another blogger/tweeter’s grandfather is seriously ill
• I visited a home and discussed a baby which might not make it
• I spoke to a friend who had been in an abusive relationship and I never knew at the time
• I spoke to another friend about getting help after she did a terribly frightening thing 2 days ago
• A friend’s family member is in hospital after having a cancerous tumour removed
• Someone I’m close to has got to go for a biopsy

I did a lot of crying today

I read about the Violence Unsilenced blog a few months ago, and I went to read a few entries that day. It’s an incredible blog. It’s written by people who have experienced some kind of domestic violence, and people use the blog to recount their stories. It’s about speaking out.

Then 2 days ago, one of the bloggers I follow, posted a link on Twitter to Brian’s story.
While I can’t personally relate to the story, it struck a cord in me. One of my greatest fears is that my boys experience something like he did. And that they perpetuate what they experienced.

It’s such a difficult thing to teach your kids what to look out for in life. There’s a fine line between getting them to understand gently and scaring them shitless.

But teach them we must. Even though I don’t want to explain “why” at times. Even though it’s uncomfortable. Because it will save them a lifetime of pain and asking why.

I got an email from him after I commented on the post, and he said “hold your boys close”

And that’s what I’m going to try and do.

I wasn’t the brightest smartie in the box today, by any stretch of the imagination.  I went scouting today for a photo venue, after a client said she wanted to have her family portraits taken at the James and Ethel Gray Park near Melrose.

It’s only now, after editing those photos, and actually thinking about what happened that I’ve realised how really stupid I was!

I went tootling off to the park at lunchtime today, armed with my camera and 50mm lens.  Alone.

I park in the first parking area I could find.  Random strange cars already parked there with, oddly, men on their own in them, and I’m feeling uneasy.  But do I stop?  Of course not!  This is me you’re reading about

So I start walking with camera, camera bag, keys and cell phone.  I pass a lady sitting on the slope and ask if it’s a safe spot.  She says yes, she sits there every lunchtime, and tells me where the path leads (which interestingly led all the way to Melrose Arch). So I carry on.

I take photos, and plenty that I love.

Then I spotted him.  The dude that had been sitting in his car, next to mine, was now on the big grass bank.  He spotted me and moved to the other side just out of my sight.  Anyhoo, to cut a very long story short, I decided that I needed to get out of there, and skedaddled back to my car, noticing that he’s now following me.

The reasons I’ve now thought I was more than stupid about this expedition:

1.  No-one knew where I was!  I normally shout out to the world where I’m going…  on twitter, facebook, foursquare and sometimes I even actually say it out loud to whomever will listen.  But today, none of that.

2.  I didn’t even tweet from the park.

3.  I actually walked right past the desk of a fellow photog and tweeter, and I know Unixel would have come with me… but did I ask him… no!

Imagine something actually did happen?  No-one would have known where to start looking for me!

Utterly utterly stupid!!

But the photos were good