As I mentioned the other day, I went to the doctor to see if there’s a cause for my hair loss.

The doc phoned me this morning:

• Thyroid is perfect
• Liver and kidneys perfect
• Iron perfect
• Glucose levels low – she says I need to eat more often or else I probably get very tired.  Ho hum, I see more eating and more weight ahead of me I suppose
• Testosterone levels low.  Now that’s where she’s confused.  Apparently high testosterone levels cause hairloss, and even the other doc she phoned for advise couldn’t explain it.

So now I have to go to a dermatologist with the blood results and her report.  She doesn’t want to put me on testosterone yet because it could make it worse. Fabulous!

And the first appointment for said dermatologist… 1 day after I start my new job.

Ultra fabulous!!

I actually feel close to what Lotus is feeling about her hairloss… maybe I should just shave it all off and be done with this crap!

Being Brazen has these question on her blog that beg to be answered.  I wasn’t going to do it when I read it this morning, but the first question needs to be answered tonight, and I don’t feeling like focusing only on that so I have to answer them all.

1. Today I feel… scared.  I went to the doc this morning to get my hair checked out.  One part of me is scared they won’t find a cause, ‘cos that’ll mean it’s stress and I really can’t not stop something in my life to calm my life down a bit
2. This week… I wish I wasn’t at work
3. Last night…I went to bed without editing anything
4. Lately the song stuck in my head is… there isn’t one
5. My New Years eve… was quiet
6. This year I’m looking forward to… being heard
7. What big lesson/s did you learn in 2009? that I can’t be the sole breadwinner

A few of you know that over the last few years, I’ve gone through bouts of losing hair.  It started when I had those miscarriages, and when I had both kids it happened again.

Now however, I can’t blame the kids.  My hair is falling out and it’s depressing me so much.

I knew it had got bad when Lance said something to me the other day

So now, I’m declaring Operation Jenty-hair.  I’ve got to do something about it or else I’m convinced I’ll be bald in a few months.

Last time it happened I invested in Nioxin… but MY GOD it was expensive and it really didn’t work all that well.

This time, I’ve bought hair and nail tissue salts to try the natural route, and I’ve also bought Vigro tablets and a hair tonic.

Any other ideas anyone?  Other than a wig?  Maybe I should chop my hair off… but then I think I’ll look worse because of how thin my hair is right now.

I don’t know… I actually just feel like crying about it and crawling into a ball and wishing it away.

I can’t think of a meaningful topic to discuss tonight.  I’m only thinking of small stuff… so a small smidge of small stuff it is…

Connor is sick again. He’s dosed up in bed because he has quite a high fever and a headache.  I think it’s time for the doctor now, we’ve been struggling with his cough for 2 weeks now and now this fever has me a bit floored.

***

I’m finally going for a long overdue haircut tomorrow morning.  I’m cheating on my usual hairdresser again, and I feel bad because she sent me an email this morning, but I really have to find a cheaper hairstylist.  My usual hairdresser costs an absolute bomb even though it’s convenient and close to the office.  Oooh and you should see how much grey hair I have… frightening! I only notice it when my hair grows out.

***

I’ve also finally ordered myself a new phone.  It’s long overdue, I’ve been holding out on renewing my contract in case we leave the country… but that’s on hold indefinitely now because of the markets.  It arrives at my desk tomorrow.  Decided to get with the program and ordered a Blackberry Javelin.  Now I’ll be able to Twitter in the traffic

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I learnt that Jewish boys only cut their hair for the first time when they turn 3.  I was amazed at all the little guys running around at the birthday party on Sunday morning with the most beautiful curly long hair!

***

I made a hude faux pas this afternoon – I told a colleague that she had a mark on her forehead.  LOL!! Duh!! It’s Ash Wednesday today… it was ash from mass at church this morning! LOL!

for a drastic change of hairstyle…

…when 2 friends tell me at the same time (at the baby shower today), that they think I should go SHORT again… really short.

Ho hum, clearly I’m looking BAAAAD! Whoops!

Enter exhibit A… this photo was taken in Oct 2006….

… Exhibit B… this one was taken by Bradley a month ago….

I look like crap!  I’m actually hiding from cameras at the moment, because of my hair.  I’m not actually sure what I’m trying to prove by keeping it longer.  And the thing is, since that photo was taken, you should see how curly it is!

So, what do you think?  Cut or not?

I bumped into an ex-boyfriend yesterday… he’s contracting at the company I work at and I chatted to him in the queue for lunch in the canteen. I met him at my matric dance (like a prom), he was a friend’s partner (don’t ask J ).  We went out just after I left school for a few months, and I haven’t seen him in about 5 years, maybe longer. 

In fact, thinking about it, our relationship happened almost 19 years ago (the end of 1989)  How frightening is that?  Oh boy, I suddenly feel very old.

Anyway, he was saying that I looked exactly the same, I haven’t changed a bit.  Well, he hasn’t really either, apart from losing a bit of weight.

Now I can’t decide whether I’m happy or sad about that fact.  The more I think about it the sadder I get.

In one way, it’s brilliant that he thinks that I haven’t aged in 20 odd years.

However, no change?  Not good.  I know my hair looks crap at the moment… I’m trying to grow it and it’s basically looking like rats tails.  I can’t straighten it and it’s not curly enough to be called curly.  It’s just blah!

As for my skin, I have a zit in the middle of my forehead!  I haven’t had a zit like this in ages… I think I need to change my skin creams again actually I’m starting to react to the make I’m using.

And lets not go to the bags under my eyes.  I had a meeting with OD today (the resident psychologists in the company who help with team dynamics), and she told me that I looked tired.

I know I look tired.  I feel tired.  All the time.  I’m always on edge, watching what I say here and at home in case I tip the balance.  I’m an outsider looking in at the moment with all aspects of my life.  But more about that when I don’t start crying at the thought of getting it all out.

So, what should I change?  Cut my hair short again?  Bearing my age in mind, this is probably the last time I’ll get away with growing it.  And then again, I’ve had my hair short for so long, that I’m bored with it, and even that is not a change.

Oh crap I feel crap! 

Anyway, I’m outta here, I’m going to the funeral now.

PS.  that makes 3 ex-boyfriends now working in this building!  This world is too small sometimes