Bradley’s school has a Valentine’s dance every year, and all the kids from Grade 3  upwards have to attend.  So this year it’s his first dance experience.

Hectic!!

I thought that it was just a little dance.  It doesn’t last very long, and I think it ends really early (from what I can remember, and no I haven’t studied the newsletters yet).

Well, clearly not!! Bradley’s best friend Angelique has been asked to “go” by one of the other boys.

I did ask him how he felt about Angelique going with another boy… his answer “well, I can’t ask my best friend to go with me, that would be weird” LOL!

Call me strange, but aren’t 8/9 year olds a little young for this?  He’s stressing now.  He’s so nervous to ask another girl to this thing, and I actually don’t think he should be.  I don’t see anything wrong with him going with his friends… in a group.

Am I strange?

Anyhoo, this evening I was a little more relaxed about the whole thing when he told me that some of his boy friends had asked other boy friends to go with them. Clearly it’s not “that” important.

Connor, on the other hand, thinks it’s hilarious that Bradley’s going to a dance, and he’s going to “shake his booty” LOL!! There was a lot of wrestling going on this evening after the teasing.

I’m not ready for this… I’m not ready for this angst.  I’m not sure I’m equipped to help him deal with girls saying “no” to him asking them out.

Bloody hell he’s too young for this!! I’m too young for this!!

I had a rough night last night. Not drinking rough though… I edited the Branson images until 2am to get them ready for delivery (they had to be delivered before 8am and my MacBook was acting up and chugging)

So today after I got home from an early morning shoot, Lance insisted that I nap… While he went to work. He just didn’t get that I cannot do that!

Even though I didn’t drink last night I feel like I’ve got a hangover. I really feel quite rough.
So I ended up napping for an hour before taking the kids for a Wimpy lunch (where I’m typing this)

Sitting here reminded me of how I could express that guilty feeling. You know that advert on TV where the mom has passed out and the little boy makes his sister breakfast? That advert kills me every time I see it, and that feeling I get when I watch that advert is the same feeling I get when I take a nap during the day and I’m alone at home with the kids.

 

There’s a car guard at the local Spar who knows me quite well now, and when I come out the shop with a trolley, he takes it from me and makes a beeline for my car without me having to direct him. Tonight, we struck up a bit of a conversation after I noticed him smiling at Connor and shaking his head.

As Connor got out the car when we first arrived, he did something he doesn’t normally do.  He waited for me to get my bag out the boot, and then just walked across the parking lot to the door.  He didn’t even look!! He knows he’s not allowed to walk across a road without me holding his hand. And there was a car coming out of a parking… thank God the car was going slowly and stopped.  I gave him a mouthful and he thankfully realised then what he did… and was sheepish for all of 30 seconds.  My oath it was close!!

Anyhoo, when we got back to the car, I had to shout speak to him again because he was standing in the middle of an empty bay instead of right next to the car, and he was trying to play fight with Bradley.  That’s when I noticed the car guard smiling at Connor.

So I said “He’s not listening. Did you see what he did earlier?”

He replied with words similar to this “Yes.  What you are doing cannot be paid for.  Being a mom is the most important thing to him, and he won’t be able to pay you.  But they will remember forever.”

That shut me up. And I wondered what the story was behind what he said.  I wonder where his mom is?

• There’s something hugely satisfying after a long hard day, when you chop carrots really roughly with a butchers knife.  That sound does it for me.
• I’m starting to drop balls… partly because I’m so stressed about what is going on at work that I’m not thinking straight.
• This weekend is going to be manic with a kids party, a tweet-up and a barmi tomorrow, and an antiques market with a friend and then a family photoshoot on Sunday
• I need to exercise… yes… this is similar to my story last week
• I sold my first work of art yesterday!! Woot!
• I need a HUGE shopping spree… new clothes would make me feel good.
• Lance started FINALLY painting our bedroom… and now I need to organise the re-framingof an oil painting to match our new paler off-white colour scheme.
• My tickets to Cape Town are booked… I really really do want to organise a tweetup while I’m there at the end of October.  I’m going with my mom… the first weekend we’ve ever ever been away together… just the two of us.

How cool is that?! It’s the first time that this blog has got nominated in a competition So I NEED your votes

That Lynda.com prize would be very handy to up my Lightroom skills

http://www.kidzworld.co.za/mommy-blogger-competition.htm

The competition is realy tough actually… and I’m friends with quite a few of the other mommy bloggers, so if you have some time, havea  look at their blogs… add them to your readers… and then vote for me!! LOL!

I went to a baby’s memorial service.  If you follow me on Twitter and Facebook you would know that I’ve been asking for prayers for Shayna for the last while… well, she died during the week, and her memorial service was yesterday.

No mom or dad should ever have to say goodbye to their baby.

Now I don’t ordinarily blog about someone else’s story on my blog… it has always got me into trouble whenever I’ve attempted it… but I feel the need to talk about this.

You see, Shayna and her twin brother Davyn were born at 24 weeks, and he’s doing so very well in NICU at the moment.  The reason this particular story is so close to my heart is because I’ve known their mother virtually for years.  We met on a local online mom’s forum (Babynet), and I’ve been following her struggle for fall pregnant for years.  I was so so very pleased for them when they finally fell pregnant.

And one of the reasons I followed her story so intently, even though I haven’t really been active on the forum lately, and I think we’ve only met IRL a handful of times… because Kim was one of the moms that gave me SO much support when Connor was in NICU.  Her oldest son was also in NICU… so she knew what I was going through, and her and a few other moms gave me such amazing first hand support on BN during that time (and during all my miscarriages before that).

So, I had to make a plan to get to the service.  And although it was dreadfully sad, the minister was so very right when he said that Shayna may have only lived for 48 days, but she touched so many people in that short time… she really did live it to the fullest.

The most beautiful part of the service (apart from the speech by her oldest brother) was when the family let go of the 48 balloons for her 48 days of life.  And if you saw purple, pink and white balloons floating in the sky around South Africa and the world at approx 10:30am know that they were let go from other online moms who were following the story and thinking about Shayna.

No matter how badly my day has been going during the last few weeks, I’d log into their Facebook group (A tale of two tiny tots) to see if there was any news and be in awe of her strength and resilience…. and the family’s amazing amazing strength too… and know that my troubles are really trivial in the grander scheme of things

Anyhoo, I’ll be continuing to follow Davyn’s story on FB and BN, but I’m actually going to send Kim a message in a few days (once the dust has settled a bit) to find out if they’re keeping this story in another way.  It’s going to be virtually impossible to export from Facebook, and I’m sure they’re going to want Davyn to read it in future.  I think they should start a blog, and I’ll quite willingly help them to export the story… so that they can have a proper record of it.

One of things I’m loving about Pinterest are the quotes that everyone finds.  I thought I’d share my latest favourite…they all speak to me on different levels at the moment…

And this last one… I think should be my mantra…

So if you’re a friend on Facebook and you follow me on Twitter, you probably know that Bradley is ill.

He’s been ill since Wednesday last week, and the doctor said on Friday that it was a viral infection causing his headaches and vomiting. Then he started getting better, and all was good.  But then, he got worse again on Sunday night.

On Monday he spent most of the day in bed after starting vomiting again from about 4am.  He’s NEVER spent that much time in bed.  Ever.  So Lance took him to the GP (I was in a 5 hour meeting at work), and this time the GP tested him for swine flu.  So, he’s on antibiotics, and hopefully we get the results soon.

He was remotely better today, and actually managed to keep a small bit of food in, but not much.  And again I wasn’t at home… I was in an all day offsite which I felt I really needed to be at because it would have been severely career limiting not to be there considering what’s happening at the moment.

And the mommy guilt you may ask… apart from the fact that I haven’t really been around, which is enough guilt anyway…

You remember a few months ago when he was being bullied at school, and he was vomiting some mornings trying to stay at home??? Well, my first thoughts on Monday morning were exactly that!! That he was faking it, and there was something at school he didn’t want to face. In fact, I thought that until about mid morning when I spoke to Beauty and he was still vomiting and hadn’t got out of bed!! Then Lance got home to take him to the doctor and he phoned to tell me how bad Bradley looked then… and then it was clear that this was serious.

So anyhoo, I feel like crap right now, so I think I’m going to stay at home tomorrow to look after my little boy… and stuff everything else!

I went to Laura’s babyshower today and someone mentioned something in passing about using something with her child, and then said “imagine the BN moms knew” and we all laughed.  It struck me then how sensitive moms, that have been on online parenting forums for a long time, have become.

And yes, I’m one of them!

Online parenting and pregnancy forums were my first real foray into using the social web, and that’s what started my blogging.  I’ve been chatting on moms forums since I fell pregnant… or was trying to fall pregnant… pre-Bradley.  So we’re talking about 8/9 years.

And over the years, you learn what the triggers are.  There are certain topics that us “wiser” moms know are trigger points and will, without a doubt cause an e-war or at least a 10 page forum post.   Now they’re not amazing topics, but what’s interesting is how opinionated people are about them.  IRL (in real life) conversations around those topics are generally not as heated, but get behind a keyboard… after a glass of wine… when the kids are sleeping… and everyone’s real thoughts come out… and everyone is completely passionate about their point of view.

Now, when I hear someone talking about them, I just keep quiet, and wonder how long it’ll take for the explosion to come… it doesn’t take long… and it always erupts.  And I smile

The list of trigger topics that I can recall off the top of my head include…
- natural vs caesar birth
- breastfeeding vs bottle feeding
- when to start solid food
- Montessori schooling
- walking rings
- buckling kids up in car seats
- Oros
- viennas and polony

… and I just smile… smile and wave

Oh I LOVE this and just have to share.  I got this video on one of my favourite photoblogs, the Maternal Lens, and I’m thinking that everyone that’s pregnant should watch it… and everyone that’s just had a baby.

My best quote “Google doesn’t have children”  LOL!