I bumped into an ex-boyfriend yesterday… he’s contracting at the company I work at and I chatted to him in the queue for lunch in the canteen. I met him at my matric dance (like a prom), he was a friend’s partner (don’t ask J ). We went out just after I left school for a few months, and I haven’t seen him in about 5 years, maybe longer.
In fact, thinking about it, our relationship happened almost 19 years ago (the end of 1989) How frightening is that? Oh boy, I suddenly feel very old.
Anyway, he was saying that I looked exactly the same, I haven’t changed a bit. Well, he hasn’t really either, apart from losing a bit of weight.
Now I can’t decide whether I’m happy or sad about that fact. The more I think about it the sadder I get.
In one way, it’s brilliant that he thinks that I haven’t aged in 20 odd years.
However, no change? Not good. I know my hair looks crap at the moment… I’m trying to grow it and it’s basically looking like rats tails. I can’t straighten it and it’s not curly enough to be called curly. It’s just blah!
As for my skin, I have a zit in the middle of my forehead! I haven’t had a zit like this in ages… I think I need to change my skin creams again actually I’m starting to react to the make I’m using.
And lets not go to the bags under my eyes. I had a meeting with OD today (the resident psychologists in the company who help with team dynamics), and she told me that I looked tired.
I know I look tired. I feel tired. All the time. I’m always on edge, watching what I say here and at home in case I tip the balance. I’m an outsider looking in at the moment with all aspects of my life. But more about that when I don’t start crying at the thought of getting it all out.
So, what should I change? Cut my hair short again? Bearing my age in mind, this is probably the last time I’ll get away with growing it. And then again, I’ve had my hair short for so long, that I’m bored with it, and even that is not a change.
Oh crap I feel crap!
Anyway, I’m outta here, I’m going to the funeral now.
PS. that makes 3 ex-boyfriends now working in this building! This world is too small sometimes 🙂