I want to thank Jenty for allowing me a little real estate on her corner of the blogosphere. It is great to be here!
I am first generation Filipino who grew up in in the San Fernando Valley. The words “totally,” “dude,” and “awesome” are still regularly used words in my vocabulary, but the distinctive “Valley Girl” accent has since disappeared (it does come back after a couple of glasses of wine). If you saw my appearance and heard me speak my accent didn’t/doesn’t seem natural, especially amongst my family. It’s like hearing a Chinese person with an Australian accent … kind of throws you off at first.
In school I never felt like I totally fit in with the popular crowd, the brainiacs, or the bad kids. I just kind of “was” jumping around from group to group. In college I even deviated from my group of girlfriends and joined a different sorority. Thank goodness we didn’t have Greek houses and my girlfriends are still my closest friends! But, even in my sorority I never naturally fit in.
After graduation I made the pilgrimage to San Francisco, but not for the dot com boom … oh no not me. I wanted to be a playwright and director. Reality (and bills) got the best of me and I eventually conformed and got a dot com job. My organizational skills and eye for detail got me a job that I am good at, but doesn’t fulfill my passions. Again, not a natural fit.
Marriage seemed easy. I thought it was a natural thing to love, be loved, care and be cared for. But, once again there seemed to be nothing natural in our marriage. I fought it and forced it. I tried to mold it into something it wasn’t. Like all of my previous failed relationships this relationship didn’t last.
The one thing that did come naturally (which was a total surprise) was becoming a mother. When I found out I was pregnant I quit drinking, started eating healthy, exercised, read all of the necessary (and not necessary) material. My pregnancy was flawless as was my delivery. My daughter was and is very healthy. And, I never experienced PPD. The first month my mom planned on living with us to help take care of the house, me and the baby. After a week she said she was going home. I didn’t need her. I was a natural. Something I had never felt I had ever been … natural.
I believe everyone has at least one thing they are natural at. It is a matter of finding, understanding and growing that natural talent. For example, my mom is a natural cook. She just knows how without any formal training or cookbooks. People love her food and she loves cooking for them. This is her way of nurturing. My girlfriend is a natural planner. She plans so far in advanced leaving no holes or questions. She has carried this natural ability into her work place, her wedding, and her friendships and has had success in her life thanks to her planning.
I have friends where being a mother did not come naturally. They had to learn or are still learning their new role, yet other things in their life come naturally. For me I never guess how to be a mom to my daughter. Becoming a mother gave my life a purpose. It is what comes naturally.