Bradley was very upset the other day, and after a bit of probing, he just started crying that the other kids wouldn’t play with him.
Anyhoo, turned out that the other kids tease him because he plays with the girls sometimes, when the boys don’t want him to play with them. They don’t want him to play with them because he seems to play soccer better than one of the other boys, and he seems to be the ringleader.
He then also added, that he doesn’t have Gogo Crazy Bones, so he can’t play with them.
**sigh**
After I asked him why he didn’t tell me that was a craze, he said that he’d just thought I wouldn’t buy it for him because I’ve drummed it into his head, that he’s not allowed to take toys to school.
**sigh**
So I went to buy some Gogos today.
Thing is, I would have bought them if he’d told me. I remember the crazes at school, and how you HAD to have the same thing, or else you were shunned. I remember the issues with marbles and skipping ropes and elastics and card swapping and writing paper swapping… and this is definitely the beginning.
I started thinking about whether I was bugged about this or not. And I realise I’m not.
Peer pressure at his age, or even Connor’s age makes me a little uncomfortable, just a little.
I don’t like the bullying part of it… like the one dude is clearly doing… and Bradley is unable to see that this child is just being mean to him when his own friendship with a common friend is threatened.
But I get it.
Even though it’s hard to me to watch him go through this, and harder for me to explain how he needs to deal with it, I do think he needs to go through it.
It’s preperation for the rest of his life.
It kills me to even think that… but bullies and peer pressure happens right throughout life. Whomever thinks it’s restricted to schools is smoking something. Unless we equip our kids to deal with it, they’re going to have a really rough time later on.
So, no matter how hard it is for me to handle, I must try and help him deal with it.
Being a parent is not easy. It makes you question everything. The system. The environment. And your own history.
I hear you loud and clear, Jenty. Especially on that last line there. This entire post was really thought-provoking.
Before the girls started school I’d have never dreamed that they’d be part of these crazes and fads but what do you know, they’ve got the runners with lights and the Hannah Montana lip gloss and the beaded necklaces and Barbie Band Aids. They just turned 5 and this is just the beginning but we will continue to buy the things they want.
We haven’t yet reached the bullying part of things but I’m sure it’s coming. The girls’ Dad (who is also a twin) says that sometimes twins are shunned in school by the singles because they get more attention. Sometimes envious kids will get together and make twins feel bad and freakish. I’m a little worried about this because I always figured they’d be a little more safe from the bullying having that constant buddy, you know?
Anyway, yes. I so get this and where you’re coming from. Being a parent is not easy at all.
I know that if I hadn’t been bullied and had to learn to stand up for myself, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
It still hurts though, to think of your own being so sad. *hugs* to you and Bradley. x
Oh my word, this is the kind of thing that makes my not-so-inner Mama Bear come out!
I can’t stand bullying…and while intellectually I know kids need to learn to deal with it, if I switch my brain off, I just want to slap the mean kids LOL
I’m interested to see how I’ll be in the future because I am so not the person who cares what “everyone else is doing” so while I don’t think I’ll be buying the latest fads, I don’t say never anymore. I also said, “IVF? NEVER!” and look, 2 of them later!
We are indeed pressured from all sides throughout our lives.
I remember those crazes at school… :/ My sisters and I were usually the ones without all the stuff to compete with as my folks simply couldn’t afford them.
I *feel* you on this! It is so important over here, too. My kids collect Smiggle pens and rubbers and the boys all play with GoGos too.
For my kids, it’s even more important to fit in, and have the right gear. It’s hard enough being the new kid (who only recently managed to speak English properly!) – they don’t need to be left out because they don;t have all the in stuff.
*sigh*
I make them do chores to get pocket money. Chores are non negotiable, and pocket money is a set amount. They can spend their pocket money on craze stuff (and I will add if needed provided that they did extra stuff around the house). It makes me less like a conformist, lol.
Parenting suck at times. But you are so right they have to go through this, they have to learn how to deal with the bullies now.
I hope things ease up for Bradley very soon!
You hit it right on the spot girl! I can not wait for the princess to finish at the school in December and start anew at another school next year. She has become the target of the school’s girl bully and although the school has handled it relatively well, she is still upset sometimes.
Very thought provoking post. I havent had to deal with bully-ing yet and cannot even begin to process how I will deal with it.
Beating up the bully-ier immediately springs to mind but I think I will push myself to find better solutions when the time comes. 😉
Great post.