We seem to have hit a turning point with Bradley and sport, and it could be partly because of my running. Well, that’s how I’m seeing it anyway.
There’s a karate tournament next weekend, and for the first time in years, Bradley has brought home the entry forms without me asking about it, and he’s actually wanting to compete!
He just hasn’t been interested in competing on any level in a long time. Not only that, but other than karate, he hasn’t really been interested in taking part in many sports at school on a long-term basis… he often decides to try something else.
It was only when I started running and taking part in races, that I finally twigged why he’s not keen.
I think he’s like me! It’s only taken me 12 years to figure my son out! LOL!
It’s all about the competition. I don’t like the stress of people expecting me to try and win. I’m quite happy running in a road race because I know I will never win it. I like it because I’m really just competing against myself. And that’s also why I’m enjoying running, my personal bests are really just up to me… and I cannot compare myself to anyone really.
Once I realised that, then I “got” why Bradley enjoys karate. He’s not competing against anyone. There’s no expectation that he needs to try and win. That’s also why he’s started enjoying running at RWFL… there’s no winning pressure like there is at school. He just has to do the best he can, and pace himself… and in fact, try not so hard, because you shouldn’t push too much when you’re training.
It’s still baby steps though.
The karate tournament is made of 3 parts, and he only wants to take part in one… the kumite. He doesn’t want to do the individual kata where he’s tested again one other child.
That’s ok though. I completely get it now. He needs to do what makes him more comfortable and gets his confidence back.
And now that his leg is better (that’s another long story), he can start running again. Not long long distance, like I’m doing, but around the field until he gets his confidence up again. The next step is to try and get him to run some 5km races.
It’s baby steps there too.
After having a chat with him a few nights ago, I’ve decided not to run the 10km Northgate race, but instead I’ll run the 5km race with him. It’ll give him the confidence he needs.
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I am finding this “figuring out” thing very hard especially in terms of sport. A is hugely competitive and therefore does not like to compete unless she knows she will win – only this year did we manage to get it into her brain that it’s ok not to win. (Swimming in particular ). C is even harder for me to figure out – I think maybe your thinking for Bradley is what I need for him. For instance in the rugby he is happy if he did a good pass or played his bit in the team but is not so phased about being the one that scored the try. Mr L wants to try everything and win everything. Not scared of loosing. Gosh, they have to all be different , don’t they?
Oh and on the karate competition – I do not know if you remember my Judo post – but yes, they do change. Going from not really wanting to compete to going full out in a but more than a year.
I hope he does really well because it will also inspire – and enjoy running with him!
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It’s really so tough!
The problem is they can’t articulate why they’re not comfortable either… which makes it a thousand times harder.
Bradley is highly competitive in class though, where there isn’t anything physical involved.
Connor is so easy going, and he just wants to be a part of everything 🙂
I had visions of having one of my two older kids run with me but after taking Megan on her first Parkrun, which we were late for, she wanted nothing to do with it again. Michael reckons he’ll beat me at a 5km run but I don’t think he realises how far 5km is when you haven’t run it before! Also, because of schedule difficulties, I run early in the mornings and rarely get to attend a Parkrun anymore, so it’s going to be difficult to find a time for him to run with me…
I feel kind of torn – on the one hand, I’d love to have someone to share the running thing with but on the other, I cherish the time away from everything, when I can just be by myself and clear my head (or order my thoughts).
I guess that’s also partly why I STILL haven’t joined a club…
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this makes me so happy! Also the thought of you running with him? MELT!
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I am exactly the same. I don’t like the competition, but I like the exercise and taking part!
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I think I am figuring out what Aaron is into, I just want to help him find stuff I can do with him outside and not in front of his computer all the time. He is really into Minecraft (which is great) but we have such amazing parks in our home city and a strong outdoor culture here. He is into cricket so there’s that.
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