Social media and how it’s affecting kids lives is a big topic in my life right now.
A lot of children in senior primary have smart phones, so the next step is to start using social media. Saying NO is not the answer, because they’re just going to use it anyway behind your back, and that’s quite a scary option in my opinion.
Here are a few tips to help you and your child cope with social media:
- Don’t stop them from using Whatsapp and Instagram etc, but rather set rules and boundaries
All their friends are using the apps, and most of the time it’s good. They use it for homework help and they communicate about what’s happening at school. It’s been useful when there’s a special day at school, and we’ve lost the communication about it!
However, I’ve set boundaries… one of them is that the phone sleeps in my bedroom or the kitchen. There’s no need for the phone to be on at night, he needs to sleep. I’ve blogged about this before… you’d be amazed how late kids are chatting during the school week! - Get to know your child’s friends
By knowing who their friends are, it’s easier to work out whether strangers are befriending them. - Show an interest in their online lives.
Let your kids know that you’ll follow them. It’s not because you’re going to interfere with their lives, you are interested in what they do. That way, you can start seeing when there’s trouble brewing, and you can help them steer through the issues. You’ll also be able to pick up if there’s something going on that you need to do something about. - Be honest and direct when talking to your child about topics that come up in their feed.
I find this really hard, because sometimes I think he’s not ready for it, but no-one should be dealing with drugs, and suicide and sex issues on their own (especially when they’re 12!). - Help your tween to make healthy choices by encouraging them to make their own decisions.
Show them how to find out whether someone is a friend or foe before they befriend them online. Let them know you’ll help… calmly 😉
If they join a new social site or app, be aware of it. Understand how it works, and what it’ll mean for them.
I’ve seen a few very scary things in my son’s feed, that he shouldn’t be dealing with alone. And it’s clear to me that many of his friends are on social sites without their parents being aware of it… or if they’re aware of it, they’re not reading what their kids are posting publicly.
I believe that it’s up to parents to help their kids navigate through this. Granted, it’s unknown territory for most parents. And a lot of people I know, with kids at school with my kids, have no idea how Instagram works for example. But learn. Teach yourself. Try them out. Read up about the sites. Enable yourself and your kids.
I’d love to know what you think, let me know in the comments. Also let me know if there’s something else on this topic that you’d like to know. I’ll be glad to blog more about this.
Kiara now has a phone and it’s a whole different thing to Cameron. We have had a discussion about inappropriate photos and talking to people you don’t know. A boy (who we’ve known for years) keeps asking her to send selfies but like almost obsessively. She ignored him but it’s making me uncomfortable.
Just last night we spoke about saying mean things and how once it’s out there you can never really delete it. Cameron’s groups do a bit of bad mouthing and I really don’t like it. I don’t think they realize the impact.
You have to be on top of it though! You can not be naive about it.
That would make me very uncomfortable too! At what point do you get his parent involved though…
My little guy is only 3 but my wife and I have already spoken about this. Especially in terms of cyber bullying which I think will continue to grow and be more of a threat by the time he reaches the age of social media, whatever form that takes later on.
It’s not easy, but hiding your head in the sand like some parent are doing, is not helping anyone
I agree with everything you’ve said here Jeanette. Still a while for James for FB, Twitter or Instagram, but he’s already chatting to friends ons whatsapp so we’ve had a convo about how putting anything out there on the internet is like a tattoo & it’s always there. Also told him about Oscar Pistorius’ whatsapp message that the cops could retrieve. So ja, it’s scary but the more head on we face it, while allowing it, the better imo.
Logan is getting his first phone for his birthday in December. This is such a useful post, thanks for the tips! Things sure were simpler when we were growing up!
What concerns me is when they set up anonymous profiles on any of the social platforms. Like John123 or something. How would you know about that and track it?
Also – you’ve got me thinking see – A is very happy to follow our instructions wrt to social media usage, but C is very secretive and resents me checking. How do I get it through to her that it is for her own safety? I still check though- but I’m battling to get the message through.
I think you should show you an example of what you’re talking about. Maybe that’ll help?
Mm that’s an idea.. do you remember that link of that video of that young girl sharing stuff. It was quite prevalent a few months ago?
Is this the one?
Are you talking about this one?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jMhMVEjEQg
It’s freaking scary!!
I’m really glad there were no real “smart phones” around yet when my son was at school. They were still able to share some dodgy pictures using MMS and Bluetooth, but we spoke a lot. And is phone also “slept” with me after bed time.