After a few days where I thought things were settling, the mood is moody again. I am moody.
It’s the end of day 13 in lockdown.
The last few days have felt more positive. I was settling into a rhythm and that’s good. It felt like everything around me was in a rhythm again and I could handle that rhythm. We stopped getting what felt like thousands of opposing views and instructions about what to do. It felt like I could tell in the news what was real and fake without having to hunt for the truth. I was getting comfortable in the lockdown rhythm.
The rhythm of getting up later, travelling to work with no traffic, and endless online meetings with headphones making the sounds feel so close. Then leaving earlier than normal to get to the shops that are closing earlier to try and get fresh food for a few days.
I was fine this morning on my way to work.
Not sure what’s changed this afternoon, but I’m feeling heavy.
It feels like I’m not alone if I look around me on social media. My Twitter and Instagram feeds are filled with friends and acquaintances feeling similar to me.
I think it’s the start of that apprehension again. The Easter weekend is coming and it doesn’t feel right. There’ll be no big family affairs and we’ll be doing Easter hunts over video calls and that’s just weird.
What is Cyril going to say on Sunday or Monday? Is that when he’s going to announce the next steps? What will it mean? How many changes will we have to deal with again?
I can’t handle more of this full lockdown, or can I? I don’t want it anymore. I’m over it. I can’t fathom more of it.
Kimo is definitely not going to cope. He’s already anxious and depressed and he desperately needs a walk. I actually couldn’t give a flying toss about my running at this point, I just want to take him for a walk so he can stop the damn whining. It’s driving me nuts.
B and C really need a break from the house. B is starting to chomp at the bit. He wants to see his girlfriend.
I want to see my parents and the rest of my family. I’d love to have tea with my parents again, and just pop in to say hi.
I wouldn’t mind buying more wine. Imagine how boring my Instagram Stories are going to be without my rants in the kitchen with wine!
Then there’s the school issue. The kids start school on Tuesday and how will that work in practice? Will the high school actually get online schooling right like other government high schools are doing? What will happen with registration for high school for next year for C? Is that going to be postponed? The university admissions didn’t get moved, and they’re continuing like normal… so lets hope the schools do too.
And then there’s the economy that’s worrying me. OMG and that’s a whole essay just on it’s own. So many people having salaries cut and getting retrenched, and companies close to shutting down already. It’s stressing me out.
I’m hoping the full lockdown gets relaxed a bit. There’s no way that the economy can take more of it. I get the health risk but I’m hoping it gets relaxed a bit.
These are just some of the things in my head right now…
Can you see why my mood is moody?